I am the Queen of Second Chances (and third, fourth, fifth, and so on...). I always look for the best in people and try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but usually it comes back to bite me in the ass.
My parents always taught me that people are generally good and mistakes shouldn't define them. Unfortunately, I've got it in my head that no matter how many mistakes someone makes, they should be given another chance.
I've noticed I have a few types of people that I let get close to me in life. I'm always looking to mend the broken in one way or another. I always think that I can fix them, even if they treat me poorly. A friend recently pointed out to me that almost all of my choices in people over the course of my adult life have been awful. (Friends mostly excluded from this. I am referring to people I have taken a romantic interest in.) Try as I might, for some reason I attract the worst kinds of people. The users, abusers, the assholes, the flakes, the people who know I am too nice to ever walk away.
This is a blessing and a curse, really. As I mentioned before, I tend to look for the good in people. When it comes to work, it's an ideal situation for the students. They tell me some sob story and I usually believe them. We talk through ways to make sure it doesn't happen again, they're given a creative sanction (i.e. some sort of reflection paper), and they are well on their way. When it comes to my personal life, however, it's awful. I have a really hard time cutting ties with people because I grow so attached, even to friends. I feel things so deeply and strongly that when someone opens up to me, I feel as though I am handling it too. It's too hard for me to just let go of something I've become emotionally invested in and that kills me. I'd give anything to be able to just walk away from something the way that people can just walk away from me. (Okay, maybe I wouldn't want to do that all the time, but having the ability to choose to do so would be much better than what I deal with now.) But I can't, so I just have to learn to live this way and hope that one day the people who were awful to me will learn from their mistakes and treat others in their life better.
I guess at the end of the day, as much as I hate how much I feel, I'd rather feel everything than nothing at all. Otherwise, I'd be just like everyone else.
