Sunday, April 23, 2017

Nostalgia

For the last few weeks, I've been feeling really nostalgic. I guess that's what happens when you realize you won't be living in the same place much longer.

For those of you that don't know, I've accepted a job in Olympia, Washington and I'll be taking a road trip with my best friend across the country in about two months. It's going to be an exciting next chapter, but it is also so surreal that I won't be living in the Philadelphia area much longer.

I think it finally clicked when I was driving myself to the tattoo shop from my parents' house. I took a backroad that I fondly called "Tickle Road Valley" as a child.

As I drove down the road, I was instantly transported back to the days in our black Ford Bronco, with the windows down, shouting "faster!" at my mother as she drove over the hills. In that moment, I realized how much I cherished the small memories from my childhood. It never registered to me how many memories I have in this area, but now that I'm leaving, they are all flooding back.

I'm ecstatic to be leaving, don't get me wrong, though it will be an adjustment. Leaving a place is never easy, but I'll always have the memories to call it home.


Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Ghosts

Have you ever walked into a place, where you shared a lot of memories with someone, and immediately feel them pouring back in no matter how hard you've tried to shut them out? Imagine that happening every time you walk in through the door to your apartment or house, into your room, your favorite ice cream shop or bar. You close your eyes and try to push the memories away, but despite your best efforts, they continue to creep into your mind.

It's hard for me to remember what life was like without these ghosts. They follow me around my apartment, around my parents' house, around my hometown. No matter how much time has passed, the ghosts still haunt me in the places I wish I could go to escape them.

These ghosts are of past lovers and friends, people with whom I've spent much of my time with, but are now practically strangers. My mind longs to forget the memories, the good and the bad, yet they continue to come back to haunt me. Once fond memories now cause pain. I'm haunted by my past mistakes, who I used to be, and those with whom I've spent time.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately, and have been struggling to put my feelings into words. They continue to roll around in my head, despite me pouring them out into this post.

There's a thousand more things I could write, but I'll leave it at that... for now.