What's in a title? A relationship status? It's a way for the world outside to understand what's happening behind closed doors. But what does it really matter? Who the hell cares if you're seeing someone or if they're your significant other or your partner? What should matter is that you know where you stand with each other. Fuck everyone else, right?
For the last few months, I've been completely content with the way things were going. I've been seeing someone who is truly amazing and we were just going with the flow. Shortly into our time together, I realized I was falling, hard, but I tried to keep it together before blurting out the words that would change our situation forever.
I'll never forget when those words finally slipped out. I'll spare you the details, but it was a good moment for me. And to hear that those feelings were reciprocated was the best feeling in the world. I was on cloud nine for days.
We'd been going back and forth about our "status" for a while, but I had come to terms with not having a label. A few days ago while on the phone before heading to bed, we were discussing our "status" again. It started with a back and forth of "do you know how much I love you" type things and ended with a question of "will you be my girlfriend?" Coming from the person who hates labels and doesn't "do relationships," it really meant a lot to finally making it official. Even though I was content with the route we were going, I was very happy to finally be able to call him my boyfriend.
So why am I writing about all of this? To be honest, I've been searching for something to write about for a few days, but I was stuck in a cycle of writer's block. Today, being his birthday, I decided to write something nice, so here it is:
Darling, I'm so happy to have you in my life. Meeting you in January after my first ever graduate class was the best thing to have happened to me. I'm so happy Booth dragged me to Applebee's and continuously pressured me into flirting with you because if she hadn't, I wouldn't be blogging about you now. You're truly amazing and I am so glad you've taken a chance on me. I love you so incredibly much and I seriously cannot wait to see you in a little over a week. Happy birthday, babe. Enjoy what's left of it and we will celebrate when I come home <3
Friday, June 24, 2016
Thursday, June 16, 2016
All These Damn Saxophones
*Angrily rants as 'Careless Whisper' is played on the saxophone in the background*
One of my favorite things about my job is that there is never a dull moment. Every day is wildly different than the previous and it is rarely predictable.
The other night there were a ton of students floating around before they were supposed to due to a schedule mix-up. It was resolved, but not before two of them began having sax battles on the balcony. I began angrily ranting in the office and halfway through the rant, all you could hear in the background was the sound of 'Careless Whisper' being played on the saxophone. It was one of those moments that was too funny not to laugh about, despite the anger I was feeling.
These kids do some of the strangest things, but I love them dearly. When I'm having a rough day, the TIPsters always know how to cheer me up, without trying. For example, the other day one of them told me they had been sleeping with a damp shower towel that barely covered their feet while their roommate (a close friend of theirs) had been sleeping with two sheets on the bed. The damn kids never thought to share sheets until the others came in the mail. I was laughing so hard because these kids are supposed to be some of the smartest in America... and they didn't think to share... *facepalm*
* * * * *
Yesterday was my first day off in about two weeks. I wanted it to be gloriously productive, filled with finishing my homework for my online class, thrifting, relaxing, and trivia. I was able to get most of those things done, aside from the most important thing, finishing my homework. Instead of working on my homework, I slept most of the day away to avoid the distractions of bad things happening at home. Things are okay now, but not as great as they should be, making it hard for me to be here physically and mentally. I'm sure it will pass, but it's tough right now*.
I've been kind of stuck in a fog for the last week or so and it doesn't seem to be clearing up anytime soon. Being away this summer is the hardest its ever been for me and I haven't been able to clearly articulate my feelings to anyone. To all my friends who I've been short with/haven't had time for, I'm sorry. I'm trying to be as present here as I can be and I honestly haven't had any energy or motivation to speak to anyone since getting here. It's probably just a side effect of my depression/bpdii/whatever else is wrong with my brain, but know that I still love you all, even if I haven't been a great friend lately. Just know, I'm working on it...
Until then, I'll take the little bits of goofiness that happen throughout the day to get me to tomorrow.
*One of the toughest things for me about being away from home is that things always seem to go wrong and I'm unable to be around the people who I need most. Don't get me wrong, I have a lovely support system here, but they aren't the ones I need. They aren't you.
One of my favorite things about my job is that there is never a dull moment. Every day is wildly different than the previous and it is rarely predictable.
The other night there were a ton of students floating around before they were supposed to due to a schedule mix-up. It was resolved, but not before two of them began having sax battles on the balcony. I began angrily ranting in the office and halfway through the rant, all you could hear in the background was the sound of 'Careless Whisper' being played on the saxophone. It was one of those moments that was too funny not to laugh about, despite the anger I was feeling.
These kids do some of the strangest things, but I love them dearly. When I'm having a rough day, the TIPsters always know how to cheer me up, without trying. For example, the other day one of them told me they had been sleeping with a damp shower towel that barely covered their feet while their roommate (a close friend of theirs) had been sleeping with two sheets on the bed. The damn kids never thought to share sheets until the others came in the mail. I was laughing so hard because these kids are supposed to be some of the smartest in America... and they didn't think to share... *facepalm*
* * * * *
Yesterday was my first day off in about two weeks. I wanted it to be gloriously productive, filled with finishing my homework for my online class, thrifting, relaxing, and trivia. I was able to get most of those things done, aside from the most important thing, finishing my homework. Instead of working on my homework, I slept most of the day away to avoid the distractions of bad things happening at home. Things are okay now, but not as great as they should be, making it hard for me to be here physically and mentally. I'm sure it will pass, but it's tough right now*.
I've been kind of stuck in a fog for the last week or so and it doesn't seem to be clearing up anytime soon. Being away this summer is the hardest its ever been for me and I haven't been able to clearly articulate my feelings to anyone. To all my friends who I've been short with/haven't had time for, I'm sorry. I'm trying to be as present here as I can be and I honestly haven't had any energy or motivation to speak to anyone since getting here. It's probably just a side effect of my depression/bpdii/whatever else is wrong with my brain, but know that I still love you all, even if I haven't been a great friend lately. Just know, I'm working on it...
Until then, I'll take the little bits of goofiness that happen throughout the day to get me to tomorrow.
*One of the toughest things for me about being away from home is that things always seem to go wrong and I'm unable to be around the people who I need most. Don't get me wrong, I have a lovely support system here, but they aren't the ones I need. They aren't you.
Monday, June 13, 2016
"You Don't Act Like an Introvert..."
Yesterday, the TIPsters arrived and all of the bullshit the site was dealing with up to that point no longer mattered. The chaos that had ensued throughout training was almost worth it because the TIPsters were finally here safely and that's what was important.
My day kicked off at 5:30AM with a freezing cold shower to wake me up followed by a trip to the office where I was greeted by a Red Bull from our Operations Coordinator. I decided to try to make myself look slightly presentable by putting on some makeup since parents would be dropping off their kids to mostly strangers who look like slightly more grown up kids.
Arrival Day went rather smoothly in regards to logistics. All of the TIPsters arrived before 6:30PM and were all able to attend the student orientation session (which is a first for UGA since I've been working here...). It was a small victory so I'll take it.
Aside from being down two RCs for most of the day, the ResLife side of things ran rather smoothly. We had hired a new RC, who arrived in the early afternoon, and as soon as she was cleared to interact with the TIPsters, jumped right in to help out with parent arrivals. I was incredibly impressed by how quickly she became comfortable in her role, despite being thrown into a position she knew nothing about the same day the students arrived on site. It was also great to see the ResStaff take her in as if she had been with us all along.
As the day progressed, I became more and more exhausted from all of the social interactions. Every time I tried to escape to the office for a few minutes to recollect myself, another parent had a "pressing" issue that needed to be resolved. Obviously I responded to everything with a smile on my face, but I could feel myself getting sassier and sassier as the day went on.
Around 2pm, we had an orientation for the parents to ease them into leaving their kids with us for three weeks. I had a ton of energy and made sure the parents felt great about having their kids stay with us at UGA. After our spiel was complete, a few parents came up to us and thanked us for all the information and that they felt better about dropping off their TIPsters. We even had some parents side with us about the importance of limited cell phone hours and no WiFi access in order to keep the TIPsters engaged with one another and gain the full TIP experience.
As we were leaving, our On-Site Director mentioned to me that I don't seem or act like an introvert. I explained the common misconception that introverts are always reserved. In reality, being introverted just means that at the end of the day, I need to recharge alone instead of around others like extroverts. I told him that at TIP I am much more outgoing than I am in my real life, mostly because the kids respond well to that type of personality, but it is incredibly exhausting for me to be so "on" so often.
By the time I met with all of the TIPsters, I had just enough time to have scarfed down a small plate of Chinese food before sprinting over to the student orientation session. During this, our On-Site Director and I worked really well with one another and made sure the TIPsters really understood the rules our site had in place.
After a wonderful introduction of the entire staff and a killer rules video made by the ResStaff, we dismissed the TIPsters except the 4th years. These students are the oldest on the site and receive orange lanyards instead of green to show their seniority. The conversation was meant to remind them all that the younger TIPsters would be looking up to them and that bullying/hazing of anyone would NOT be tolerated. (Apparently my voice was stern enough during both meetings that the students seemed to be intimidated and scared. I had to let some of the 4th years know that I still love them, but I wasn't tolerating their bullshit this summer. Hopefully they understand...)
Once the meetings were over and the TIPsters were all back in Myers, I made my rounds, reintroduced myself, and asked all the kids to make sure they say "hi" and tell me their names whenever they see me. (I'm making an effort to get to know all of the TIPsters and it will be way less difficult if I get their names down early on.)
Around 9PM, I hit a wall, hard. I was so mentally and physically exhausted from socializing all day that I was struggling to get up and talk to people. Unfortunately, the next two hours involved getting up and socializing. I powered through and when I finally spoke with my staff at the end of my day, they all sent me to bed because they could see how drained the day had made me.
I thanked all of them for their hard work and explained that my introvert was showing, forcing me to bid them adieu for the evening earlier than I would've liked.
I'm hoping the next few days are less chaotic so I can relax, but I won't hold my breath. TIP is exhausting and I love (mostly) every second of it. I'm excited to see what the rest of the summer holds for our site and look forward to sharing (what I can) with you all.
 |
| Sporting all the Duke Blue for Arrival Day |
Arrival Day went rather smoothly in regards to logistics. All of the TIPsters arrived before 6:30PM and were all able to attend the student orientation session (which is a first for UGA since I've been working here...). It was a small victory so I'll take it.
Aside from being down two RCs for most of the day, the ResLife side of things ran rather smoothly. We had hired a new RC, who arrived in the early afternoon, and as soon as she was cleared to interact with the TIPsters, jumped right in to help out with parent arrivals. I was incredibly impressed by how quickly she became comfortable in her role, despite being thrown into a position she knew nothing about the same day the students arrived on site. It was also great to see the ResStaff take her in as if she had been with us all along.
 |
| ResStaff is the best staff |
Around 2pm, we had an orientation for the parents to ease them into leaving their kids with us for three weeks. I had a ton of energy and made sure the parents felt great about having their kids stay with us at UGA. After our spiel was complete, a few parents came up to us and thanked us for all the information and that they felt better about dropping off their TIPsters. We even had some parents side with us about the importance of limited cell phone hours and no WiFi access in order to keep the TIPsters engaged with one another and gain the full TIP experience.
As we were leaving, our On-Site Director mentioned to me that I don't seem or act like an introvert. I explained the common misconception that introverts are always reserved. In reality, being introverted just means that at the end of the day, I need to recharge alone instead of around others like extroverts. I told him that at TIP I am much more outgoing than I am in my real life, mostly because the kids respond well to that type of personality, but it is incredibly exhausting for me to be so "on" so often.
By the time I met with all of the TIPsters, I had just enough time to have scarfed down a small plate of Chinese food before sprinting over to the student orientation session. During this, our On-Site Director and I worked really well with one another and made sure the TIPsters really understood the rules our site had in place.
After a wonderful introduction of the entire staff and a killer rules video made by the ResStaff, we dismissed the TIPsters except the 4th years. These students are the oldest on the site and receive orange lanyards instead of green to show their seniority. The conversation was meant to remind them all that the younger TIPsters would be looking up to them and that bullying/hazing of anyone would NOT be tolerated. (Apparently my voice was stern enough during both meetings that the students seemed to be intimidated and scared. I had to let some of the 4th years know that I still love them, but I wasn't tolerating their bullshit this summer. Hopefully they understand...)
Once the meetings were over and the TIPsters were all back in Myers, I made my rounds, reintroduced myself, and asked all the kids to make sure they say "hi" and tell me their names whenever they see me. (I'm making an effort to get to know all of the TIPsters and it will be way less difficult if I get their names down early on.)
Around 9PM, I hit a wall, hard. I was so mentally and physically exhausted from socializing all day that I was struggling to get up and talk to people. Unfortunately, the next two hours involved getting up and socializing. I powered through and when I finally spoke with my staff at the end of my day, they all sent me to bed because they could see how drained the day had made me.
I thanked all of them for their hard work and explained that my introvert was showing, forcing me to bid them adieu for the evening earlier than I would've liked.
I'm hoping the next few days are less chaotic so I can relax, but I won't hold my breath. TIP is exhausting and I love (mostly) every second of it. I'm excited to see what the rest of the summer holds for our site and look forward to sharing (what I can) with you all.
 |
| PS: I'm missing you a whole hell of a lot while I'm here, in case you didn't know |
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Bad Things Come in Threes
Or fours... or fives... or sixes...
I always believed that bad things came in threes... this week is proving otherwise.
The last few days have been rough to say the least. Between family issues, ER visits, and on-site problems, I've been running myself into the ground. I've been trying to balance everything that was happening in my personal life and just when I thought things were under control, an RC quit before even arriving to campus. I thought that was the last bad thing. Finally, the three bad things had happened and I didn't have to worry about when it was coming... or so I thought...
Unfortunately, that was just the beginning of a snowball effect at UGA. Luckily, my other admin members are just as frustrated as I am and are a great support as we deal with the uphill battle that is TIP @ UGA.
I'm assuming that things will get better. Maybe we've hit rock bottom with the issues and things will only go up from here...
... And maybe that's all just wishful thinking ...
Fingers crossed things will get better, but I won't be holding my breath.
I always believed that bad things came in threes... this week is proving otherwise.
The last few days have been rough to say the least. Between family issues, ER visits, and on-site problems, I've been running myself into the ground. I've been trying to balance everything that was happening in my personal life and just when I thought things were under control, an RC quit before even arriving to campus. I thought that was the last bad thing. Finally, the three bad things had happened and I didn't have to worry about when it was coming... or so I thought...
Unfortunately, that was just the beginning of a snowball effect at UGA. Luckily, my other admin members are just as frustrated as I am and are a great support as we deal with the uphill battle that is TIP @ UGA.
I'm assuming that things will get better. Maybe we've hit rock bottom with the issues and things will only go up from here...
... And maybe that's all just wishful thinking ...
Fingers crossed things will get better, but I won't be holding my breath.
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
When It Rains, It Pours
And for once I do not mean this figuratively...
All day as I was driving to Athens, I was stuck in sporadic torrential downpours. The weather would go from being absolutely gorgeous and sunny to thunderstorms with low visibility. All this would've been fine if I weren't planning on camping tonight...
I started my day by visiting Blue Hole Falls in Elizabethton, TN and was sadly disappointed. I was under the impression that the falls were going to be more impressive, but instead they were just 'eh'. After the mild disappointment, I headed to North Carolina to check out the Sierra Nevada Brewery.
Since I was on a time crunch to get to my camping site, I decided to skip the tour and head straight to the Taproom for a few flights. The beers were great, totally making up for the bummer of a waterfall from earlier. As I sat there drinking my flights alone, I decided to take some pictures. A man seated next to me took notice and told me I should visit the New Belgium Brewery as well as Wicked Weed. I thanked him for the recommendation and headed out after finishing my beers.
I decided against going to the other two breweries in hopes to make it to the campsite in South Carolina with time to spare so I could actually relax before setting up camp. (Seeing as how the rain ruined my plans, though, there would've been no harm in going...) As I headed to South Carolina, the weather began to change. The sunny skies I was basking in earlier in the day were slowly being filled with black, ominous clouds. I knew this wouldn't be good, but decided to head to Caesar's Head State Park for lunch any way.
I arrived at Caesar's Head around 2pm and made a sandwich. (Past Allee was so smart for buying lunch meat, bread, and mustard to put in a cooler.) The lookout was gorgeous, even despite the roaring thunder and mist slowly creeping in. I spent about a half hour or so there before the skies opened up and started to drench me. I checked my GPS to see how far the campsite was and decided to try to go there since it was 30 miles away.
As I continued my journey towards the campsite, the weather got progressively worse and then better and then worse again. Since I didn't have a tarp or anything for my tent (stupid me, I know), I decided to just drive to Athens.
Now I am finally here and the rain has followed me. I can hear it beating against my hotel window which is making me not want to leave again... Luckily I have mostly everything I need here with me so I can hopefully wait out the storm.
Tomorrow I trek to the University of Georgia, a whopping 2 miles away from my hotel, to move into my tiny room for the summer. I will definitely be enjoying my last night in a King-sized bed tonight.
All day as I was driving to Athens, I was stuck in sporadic torrential downpours. The weather would go from being absolutely gorgeous and sunny to thunderstorms with low visibility. All this would've been fine if I weren't planning on camping tonight...
I started my day by visiting Blue Hole Falls in Elizabethton, TN and was sadly disappointed. I was under the impression that the falls were going to be more impressive, but instead they were just 'eh'. After the mild disappointment, I headed to North Carolina to check out the Sierra Nevada Brewery.
Since I was on a time crunch to get to my camping site, I decided to skip the tour and head straight to the Taproom for a few flights. The beers were great, totally making up for the bummer of a waterfall from earlier. As I sat there drinking my flights alone, I decided to take some pictures. A man seated next to me took notice and told me I should visit the New Belgium Brewery as well as Wicked Weed. I thanked him for the recommendation and headed out after finishing my beers.  |
| Flight #1 |
I decided against going to the other two breweries in hopes to make it to the campsite in South Carolina with time to spare so I could actually relax before setting up camp. (Seeing as how the rain ruined my plans, though, there would've been no harm in going...) As I headed to South Carolina, the weather began to change. The sunny skies I was basking in earlier in the day were slowly being filled with black, ominous clouds. I knew this wouldn't be good, but decided to head to Caesar's Head State Park for lunch any way.
I arrived at Caesar's Head around 2pm and made a sandwich. (Past Allee was so smart for buying lunch meat, bread, and mustard to put in a cooler.) The lookout was gorgeous, even despite the roaring thunder and mist slowly creeping in. I spent about a half hour or so there before the skies opened up and started to drench me. I checked my GPS to see how far the campsite was and decided to try to go there since it was 30 miles away.
As I continued my journey towards the campsite, the weather got progressively worse and then better and then worse again. Since I didn't have a tarp or anything for my tent (stupid me, I know), I decided to just drive to Athens.
 |
| Caesar's Head |
Now I am finally here and the rain has followed me. I can hear it beating against my hotel window which is making me not want to leave again... Luckily I have mostly everything I need here with me so I can hopefully wait out the storm.
Tomorrow I trek to the University of Georgia, a whopping 2 miles away from my hotel, to move into my tiny room for the summer. I will definitely be enjoying my last night in a King-sized bed tonight.
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