Thursday, June 16, 2016

All These Damn Saxophones

*Angrily rants as 'Careless Whisper' is played on the saxophone in the background*

One of my favorite things about my job is that there is never a dull moment. Every day is wildly different than the previous and it is rarely predictable.

The other night there were a ton of students floating around before they were supposed to due to a schedule mix-up. It was resolved, but not before two of them began having sax battles on the balcony. I began angrily ranting in the office and halfway through the rant, all you could hear in the background was the sound of 'Careless Whisper' being played on the saxophone. It was one of those moments that was too funny not to laugh about, despite the anger I was feeling.

These kids do some of the strangest things, but I love them dearly. When I'm having a rough day, the TIPsters always know how to cheer me up, without trying. For example, the other day one of them told me they had been sleeping with a damp shower towel that barely covered their feet while their roommate (a close friend of theirs) had been sleeping with two sheets on the bed. The damn kids never thought to share sheets until the others came in the mail. I was laughing so hard because these kids are supposed to be some of the smartest in America... and they didn't think to share... *facepalm*

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Yesterday was my first day off in about two weeks. I wanted it to be gloriously productive, filled with finishing my homework for my online class, thrifting, relaxing, and trivia. I was able to get most of those things done, aside from the most important thing, finishing my homework. Instead of working on my homework, I slept most of the day away to avoid the distractions of bad things happening at home. Things are okay now, but not as great as they should be, making it hard for me to be here physically and mentally. I'm sure it will pass, but it's tough right now*.

I've been kind of stuck in a fog for the last week or so and it doesn't seem to be clearing up anytime soon. Being away this summer is the hardest its ever been for me and I haven't been able to clearly articulate my feelings to anyone. To all my friends who I've been short with/haven't had time for, I'm sorry. I'm trying to be as present here as I can be and I honestly haven't had any energy or motivation to speak to anyone since getting here. It's probably just a side effect of my depression/bpdii/whatever else is wrong with my brain, but know that I still love you all, even if I haven't been a great friend lately. Just know, I'm working on it...

Until then, I'll take the little bits of goofiness that happen throughout the day to get me to tomorrow.

*One of the toughest things for me about being away from home is that things always seem to go wrong and I'm unable to be around the people who I need most. Don't get me wrong, I have a lovely support system here, but they aren't the ones I need. They aren't you.

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