Today's been an emotionally draining day. It felt like it was one thing after another and I couldn't catch a break. How's that saying go? When it rains, it pours. Sounds about accurate for my day.
But it hasn't just been one day that's been tough. The last 70+ days have been an uphill battle, but I have the best people in my life helping me get through. Recently, a few people have come back into my life from my past and I couldn't be more thankful for these people. Y'all are truly a gift and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me. You know who you are <3
I also wanted to take this time to thank someone super amazing in my life. She always gives me tough love and tells me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. Today was especially tough to hear the things she had to say to me, but it was exactly what I needed to hear to get through the rest of the day. Tess, thank you for being such an incredible friend! <3
While today was quite tough in more ways than one, there was definitely a silver lining to it: I got to write during work today. I had to think back to my childhood and life, which was tough, but I was able to write a little bit so I'll take it.
The poem we had to write was called I Am From. We did this to show the student staff what they would be doing with their residents during their hall meetings. Here's what I came up with:
I am from quiet backroads off of busy streets, streetlights turning on and calling you home.
I am from quick dinners before practice and small gatherings for holidays.
I am from everything happens for a reason and this too shall pass. Things will get better, you just have to work hard for it.
I am from two parents who worked themselves exhausted, a mechanic who never had clean hands so we'd always have a roof over our heads and a mother who cared more for everyone else, giving what little she had to those who had nothing.
I am a bunch of broken pieces, strung together into a body that I've hated to call my own for so long. I am me because of everything that I've experienced, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
It isn't much, but it's what I've got.
That's all folks.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Privilege
I've spent the day trying to find a way to articulate how I am feeling about the last 24 hours, but like most, have fallen short.
I am appalled, to say the least. I think the toughest part for me about all of this is the selfishness that those who voted for Trump are experiencing. Those who keep telling me "it won't be that bad" or "it's going to be okay" or "this isn't going to impact you" absolutely do not understand the impact that having Trump as our president will have on our country.
Trump is the face of white supremacy, plain and simple. He was backed by the KKK, one of the most prominent white supremacist groups in America. People are tweeting about grabbing women's pussies now that Trump has won. People now believe that his words and actions are okay to do. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, AMERICA? This is not a "free pass" to be a racist, sexist, misogynistic asshole, yet everyone is coming out of the woodwork and making comments that are not okay.
Now, I understand that everyone has a right to their beliefs, but when your words and actions are going to truly hurt someone else, that is not okay in my book.
I want everyone who is reading this to know that I am here and I am fighting for you. Writing a blog post may not change anything, but continuing the conversations and taking a stance will.
I understand that I can speak from a place of privilege. I understand that many of the issues that Trump is going to cause may not impact me in the same way as others, but please understand that I want to be here for you all that will be affected.
These conversations cannot end. We cannot give up on each other.
You are important. You matter. Please don't give up.
I am appalled, to say the least. I think the toughest part for me about all of this is the selfishness that those who voted for Trump are experiencing. Those who keep telling me "it won't be that bad" or "it's going to be okay" or "this isn't going to impact you" absolutely do not understand the impact that having Trump as our president will have on our country.
Trump is the face of white supremacy, plain and simple. He was backed by the KKK, one of the most prominent white supremacist groups in America. People are tweeting about grabbing women's pussies now that Trump has won. People now believe that his words and actions are okay to do. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, AMERICA? This is not a "free pass" to be a racist, sexist, misogynistic asshole, yet everyone is coming out of the woodwork and making comments that are not okay.
Now, I understand that everyone has a right to their beliefs, but when your words and actions are going to truly hurt someone else, that is not okay in my book.
I understand that I can speak from a place of privilege. I understand that many of the issues that Trump is going to cause may not impact me in the same way as others, but please understand that I want to be here for you all that will be affected.
These conversations cannot end. We cannot give up on each other.
You are important. You matter. Please don't give up.
Friday, September 9, 2016
I Wanna Get Better
This week is National Suicide Prevention Week and tomorrow, September 10th, is National Suicide Prevention Day. I've spent the week encouraging students to participate in To Write Love on Her Arms campaign "And So I Kept Living" by finishing the sentence "I Kept Living Because..." and placing it on the office door. I'm quite pleased with the number of students and staff who have been willing to talk about it and participate.
For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder II when I was in high school. It looks different for everyone, but for me it means there's vicious mood swings. When things are going good, everything is great, but when things are bad, they're awful. One minute everything will be going well and the next minute, without warning, I can snap into an awful mood. The smallest things can set me off and there's no way for me to be prepared. I try my best to hide it, shrug it off, keep quiet, but unfortunately my face just says it all. No matter how hard I try, everyone knows when the switch happens.
It sucks. Having this disorder is awful. Top it off with depression and anxiety and it's worse than you could ever imagine. Constantly dealing with the crippling anxiety when trying to do mundane tasks like getting out of bed, going to the store, going into work... it's exhausting... and quite frankly, sometimes I wish there was a way out so I wouldn't have to deal with it. I get stuck in my head and overthink everything I do, everything I say, everything that happens around me. I'm wildly in tune with how others are feeling and I constantly feel that too, on top of everything I am dealing with in my head too.
All of that being said, I'm still here. I kept living... I KEEP living. No matter how shitty things get, how stuck in my head I am, I always find a reason to keep going. With the support of my amazing friends and family, I keep going.
This path has not been easy, but I'm making changes in my life to hopefully make it a bit better. I want to get better, in more ways than one, and I want to keep living. Here's to making positive changes, no matter how tough, and having amazing friends, old and new, to support me in the process.
For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder II when I was in high school. It looks different for everyone, but for me it means there's vicious mood swings. When things are going good, everything is great, but when things are bad, they're awful. One minute everything will be going well and the next minute, without warning, I can snap into an awful mood. The smallest things can set me off and there's no way for me to be prepared. I try my best to hide it, shrug it off, keep quiet, but unfortunately my face just says it all. No matter how hard I try, everyone knows when the switch happens.
It sucks. Having this disorder is awful. Top it off with depression and anxiety and it's worse than you could ever imagine. Constantly dealing with the crippling anxiety when trying to do mundane tasks like getting out of bed, going to the store, going into work... it's exhausting... and quite frankly, sometimes I wish there was a way out so I wouldn't have to deal with it. I get stuck in my head and overthink everything I do, everything I say, everything that happens around me. I'm wildly in tune with how others are feeling and I constantly feel that too, on top of everything I am dealing with in my head too.
All of that being said, I'm still here. I kept living... I KEEP living. No matter how shitty things get, how stuck in my head I am, I always find a reason to keep going. With the support of my amazing friends and family, I keep going.
This path has not been easy, but I'm making changes in my life to hopefully make it a bit better. I want to get better, in more ways than one, and I want to keep living. Here's to making positive changes, no matter how tough, and having amazing friends, old and new, to support me in the process.
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| I Wanna Get Better; 2016 |
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Stormy Weather
It's been a while since I've blogged and I've had a lot of ideas rolling through my head, but haven't had the time or wanted to dedicate the energy to writing it down.
Since I've been away, not much has happened. Positive changes are hopefully coming from the last blog post I wrote. There's been an effort on their part to change their policies and procedures, mostly because I was no longer silent and basically put them on blast. Sadly, my bridges have been burned, BUT they are forced to make changes and to ensure nothing like that happens again. And for that, I am thankful. Also, it will be a killer anecdote for my interviews eventually, right?
Aside from that, I've mostly been chugging along. I recently cut someone toxic out of my life in an effort to better myself. It was definitely not easy, but it was the right thing to do. Thanks to some guidance and support from friends, I'm still here and working on being okay with it.
I've been thinking a lot about the people who come into our lives, mostly along the lines of friends and significant others. I am firm believer that people are placed in our lives for a reason. Whether the time with them is long or short, everyone has a purpose. There are some people placed in our lives who help us overcome a difficult time and then are no longer apart of it. There are others who put us in a difficult time and teach us things about ourselves we never thought we'd need to know.
As I previously mentioned, I recently let go of someone from my life. I fell for them, hard and fast as I always do, but it was not a healthy situation. Once the honeymoon stage was over, the truth came out. Without going into detail, the gist of it was we were incompatible on so many levels that it was just never going to work, despite our best efforts. Had I not gone through that, I would not be able to love and appreciate the people in my life who are so supportive of my job, my grad work, and my ultimate career path.
Some things to take away from a not so savory situation:
1) You are stronger than you think you are
2) You are important and you matter, even if you have someone telling you otherwise
3) It's not going to always be the easy thing to do, but doing the right thing will always make you feel better in the end
4) There's a purpose for everything, whether or not you can see the bigger picture right now
5) It's okay not be okay
I know this post has been kind of a hodgepodge mess, but it's how my brain has been processing everything as of late.
There will probably be a big, emotional post coming at some point, but for now, this is all I plan to share.
Here's to chugging along and making positive changes.
Since I've been away, not much has happened. Positive changes are hopefully coming from the last blog post I wrote. There's been an effort on their part to change their policies and procedures, mostly because I was no longer silent and basically put them on blast. Sadly, my bridges have been burned, BUT they are forced to make changes and to ensure nothing like that happens again. And for that, I am thankful. Also, it will be a killer anecdote for my interviews eventually, right?
Aside from that, I've mostly been chugging along. I recently cut someone toxic out of my life in an effort to better myself. It was definitely not easy, but it was the right thing to do. Thanks to some guidance and support from friends, I'm still here and working on being okay with it.
I've been thinking a lot about the people who come into our lives, mostly along the lines of friends and significant others. I am firm believer that people are placed in our lives for a reason. Whether the time with them is long or short, everyone has a purpose. There are some people placed in our lives who help us overcome a difficult time and then are no longer apart of it. There are others who put us in a difficult time and teach us things about ourselves we never thought we'd need to know.
As I previously mentioned, I recently let go of someone from my life. I fell for them, hard and fast as I always do, but it was not a healthy situation. Once the honeymoon stage was over, the truth came out. Without going into detail, the gist of it was we were incompatible on so many levels that it was just never going to work, despite our best efforts. Had I not gone through that, I would not be able to love and appreciate the people in my life who are so supportive of my job, my grad work, and my ultimate career path.
Some things to take away from a not so savory situation:
1) You are stronger than you think you are
2) You are important and you matter, even if you have someone telling you otherwise
3) It's not going to always be the easy thing to do, but doing the right thing will always make you feel better in the end
4) There's a purpose for everything, whether or not you can see the bigger picture right now
5) It's okay not be okay
I know this post has been kind of a hodgepodge mess, but it's how my brain has been processing everything as of late.
There will probably be a big, emotional post coming at some point, but for now, this is all I plan to share.
Here's to chugging along and making positive changes.
Saturday, July 23, 2016
Goodbyes are Never Easy
A week ago, I made the decision to resign from my position in Georgia. An executive decision was made by our higher ups who work off-site and I did not agree with the way the incident was handled. (I won't go into details right now, but I promise you I will in about a week.)
Leaving TIP was not an easy decision to make. I spent about 24 hours mulling it over and over again, but eventually decided I needed to take a stand. After speaking with my amazing administrative team, it was clear that I had to leave to prove a point and to prevent myself from feeling physically ill every day for the rest of the term.
When it came time to tell my staff I was leaving, it was incredibly hard to find the words. I'm still trying to find a way to tell them how wonderful each and every one of them is and how lucky I was to have been able to work with them. They were the best staff I've ever had the pleasure of working with and I wish I could fully express my feelings. Unfortunately, there are no words to describe them and the experiences we had together at UGA this summer.
As for the students, I never got to say goodbye to them. Last Sunday, we hosted a movie night and I made sure to tell the students how great they are and how lucky TIP is to have them in their program. It took everything in me not to burst into tears, but I held it together so the students wouldn't catch on that things were amiss.
This last week has been rough to say the least. I've been struggling and according to people who are close to me, I'm "not the same as I was before I left." I can't explain to you why this is hitting me so hard, but just know it's going to take some time for me to get back to the way I was before I left for TIP.
There's a thousand things I want to write down, but this is all I could put into words.
I guess the moral of the story is:
Stand up for what you believe in, no matter how tough it may be.
Leaving TIP was not an easy decision to make. I spent about 24 hours mulling it over and over again, but eventually decided I needed to take a stand. After speaking with my amazing administrative team, it was clear that I had to leave to prove a point and to prevent myself from feeling physically ill every day for the rest of the term.
When it came time to tell my staff I was leaving, it was incredibly hard to find the words. I'm still trying to find a way to tell them how wonderful each and every one of them is and how lucky I was to have been able to work with them. They were the best staff I've ever had the pleasure of working with and I wish I could fully express my feelings. Unfortunately, there are no words to describe them and the experiences we had together at UGA this summer.
As for the students, I never got to say goodbye to them. Last Sunday, we hosted a movie night and I made sure to tell the students how great they are and how lucky TIP is to have them in their program. It took everything in me not to burst into tears, but I held it together so the students wouldn't catch on that things were amiss.
This last week has been rough to say the least. I've been struggling and according to people who are close to me, I'm "not the same as I was before I left." I can't explain to you why this is hitting me so hard, but just know it's going to take some time for me to get back to the way I was before I left for TIP.
There's a thousand things I want to write down, but this is all I could put into words.
I guess the moral of the story is:
Stand up for what you believe in, no matter how tough it may be.
Thursday, July 14, 2016
Blondes Have More Fun
It's been a little while since I've blogged so I figured today would be as good as any to start up again.
The end of last term was rough. Between student issues, site issues, and pure exhaustion, I was more than ready to shuffle the students out of Myers and into their respective cars so I could finally get a break.
4 days home was not nearly long enough, but at least it was spent with the people I care about most. I was able to spend time with my boyfriend, my family, my best friends, babysit my favorite baby, and even enjoy some snuggles with my puppy. Though it seems like a lot, I did get a good chunk of relaxation in.
In a blink of an eye, I was back in Athens, ready to tackle term II with a few new RCs and a ton of new Academic Staff members. Training flew by and here we are almost at the end of week one.
These students are much different than the first set and I had forgotten how much I love the term II kids. They aren't the most coordinated or athletically gifted, but they are damn creative and I can't wait to see their TiPSync performances next weekend. I've also realized that these students are less afraid of me and are much more calm than the first term. (Most likely because they've had a few weeks to go crazy at home first..)
Aside from great students, my staff has been great this term as well. Most of them have a term under their belt and are ready for anything I throw their way. They've stepped up in areas that are not necessarily required, but they are proving they love their positions here at UGA and that they'd do anything for these kids.
Now onto a quick bragging break:My supervisor from Main Office called me and told me I had some of the best reviews of an RLC last term. She read them off to me and it made me so happy to hear that I'm actually doing well in this role. Last term was rough on the student front, but apparently I kept my shit together enough that my staff thought I did a great job. The reviews were the best I've ever gotten in a supervisory role. Obviously, there were areas of improvement, but they were all things I am aware of and am actively working on for this term as well as for when I return to Philly in a few weeks for RA training.
And now back to our regularly scheduled blog post...
Yesterday was my first day off this term. I decided to treat myself to a day at the hair salon. Here is the result ----->
Aside from my trip to the salon, my day was rather uneventful (thankfully) until 8PM when we headed to trivia. We killed it yet again and came in first place (with 101 points) making it the fourth time in a row we've come in first. Go TIP Slip!
This weekend is going to be quite busy, but I'm looking forward to spending time with the tipsters in residential activities. Send some good vibes for our Ultimate Frisbee Game on Saturday so no one gets broken!
The end of last term was rough. Between student issues, site issues, and pure exhaustion, I was more than ready to shuffle the students out of Myers and into their respective cars so I could finally get a break.
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| My mother always takes pictures... No matter how much I protest |
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| Boba is getting so big! |
These students are much different than the first set and I had forgotten how much I love the term II kids. They aren't the most coordinated or athletically gifted, but they are damn creative and I can't wait to see their TiPSync performances next weekend. I've also realized that these students are less afraid of me and are much more calm than the first term. (Most likely because they've had a few weeks to go crazy at home first..)
Aside from great students, my staff has been great this term as well. Most of them have a term under their belt and are ready for anything I throw their way. They've stepped up in areas that are not necessarily required, but they are proving they love their positions here at UGA and that they'd do anything for these kids.
Now onto a quick bragging break:My supervisor from Main Office called me and told me I had some of the best reviews of an RLC last term. She read them off to me and it made me so happy to hear that I'm actually doing well in this role. Last term was rough on the student front, but apparently I kept my shit together enough that my staff thought I did a great job. The reviews were the best I've ever gotten in a supervisory role. Obviously, there were areas of improvement, but they were all things I am aware of and am actively working on for this term as well as for when I return to Philly in a few weeks for RA training.
And now back to our regularly scheduled blog post...
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| New 'do |
Aside from my trip to the salon, my day was rather uneventful (thankfully) until 8PM when we headed to trivia. We killed it yet again and came in first place (with 101 points) making it the fourth time in a row we've come in first. Go TIP Slip!
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| Trivia Night |
This weekend is going to be quite busy, but I'm looking forward to spending time with the tipsters in residential activities. Send some good vibes for our Ultimate Frisbee Game on Saturday so no one gets broken!
Friday, June 24, 2016
"_____ is in a relationship with _____"
What's in a title? A relationship status? It's a way for the world outside to understand what's happening behind closed doors. But what does it really matter? Who the hell cares if you're seeing someone or if they're your significant other or your partner? What should matter is that you know where you stand with each other. Fuck everyone else, right?
For the last few months, I've been completely content with the way things were going. I've been seeing someone who is truly amazing and we were just going with the flow. Shortly into our time together, I realized I was falling, hard, but I tried to keep it together before blurting out the words that would change our situation forever.
I'll never forget when those words finally slipped out. I'll spare you the details, but it was a good moment for me. And to hear that those feelings were reciprocated was the best feeling in the world. I was on cloud nine for days.
We'd been going back and forth about our "status" for a while, but I had come to terms with not having a label. A few days ago while on the phone before heading to bed, we were discussing our "status" again. It started with a back and forth of "do you know how much I love you" type things and ended with a question of "will you be my girlfriend?" Coming from the person who hates labels and doesn't "do relationships," it really meant a lot to finally making it official. Even though I was content with the route we were going, I was very happy to finally be able to call him my boyfriend.
So why am I writing about all of this? To be honest, I've been searching for something to write about for a few days, but I was stuck in a cycle of writer's block. Today, being his birthday, I decided to write something nice, so here it is:
Darling, I'm so happy to have you in my life. Meeting you in January after my first ever graduate class was the best thing to have happened to me. I'm so happy Booth dragged me to Applebee's and continuously pressured me into flirting with you because if she hadn't, I wouldn't be blogging about you now. You're truly amazing and I am so glad you've taken a chance on me. I love you so incredibly much and I seriously cannot wait to see you in a little over a week. Happy birthday, babe. Enjoy what's left of it and we will celebrate when I come home <3
For the last few months, I've been completely content with the way things were going. I've been seeing someone who is truly amazing and we were just going with the flow. Shortly into our time together, I realized I was falling, hard, but I tried to keep it together before blurting out the words that would change our situation forever.
I'll never forget when those words finally slipped out. I'll spare you the details, but it was a good moment for me. And to hear that those feelings were reciprocated was the best feeling in the world. I was on cloud nine for days.
We'd been going back and forth about our "status" for a while, but I had come to terms with not having a label. A few days ago while on the phone before heading to bed, we were discussing our "status" again. It started with a back and forth of "do you know how much I love you" type things and ended with a question of "will you be my girlfriend?" Coming from the person who hates labels and doesn't "do relationships," it really meant a lot to finally making it official. Even though I was content with the route we were going, I was very happy to finally be able to call him my boyfriend.
So why am I writing about all of this? To be honest, I've been searching for something to write about for a few days, but I was stuck in a cycle of writer's block. Today, being his birthday, I decided to write something nice, so here it is:
Darling, I'm so happy to have you in my life. Meeting you in January after my first ever graduate class was the best thing to have happened to me. I'm so happy Booth dragged me to Applebee's and continuously pressured me into flirting with you because if she hadn't, I wouldn't be blogging about you now. You're truly amazing and I am so glad you've taken a chance on me. I love you so incredibly much and I seriously cannot wait to see you in a little over a week. Happy birthday, babe. Enjoy what's left of it and we will celebrate when I come home <3
Thursday, June 16, 2016
All These Damn Saxophones
*Angrily rants as 'Careless Whisper' is played on the saxophone in the background*
One of my favorite things about my job is that there is never a dull moment. Every day is wildly different than the previous and it is rarely predictable.
The other night there were a ton of students floating around before they were supposed to due to a schedule mix-up. It was resolved, but not before two of them began having sax battles on the balcony. I began angrily ranting in the office and halfway through the rant, all you could hear in the background was the sound of 'Careless Whisper' being played on the saxophone. It was one of those moments that was too funny not to laugh about, despite the anger I was feeling.
These kids do some of the strangest things, but I love them dearly. When I'm having a rough day, the TIPsters always know how to cheer me up, without trying. For example, the other day one of them told me they had been sleeping with a damp shower towel that barely covered their feet while their roommate (a close friend of theirs) had been sleeping with two sheets on the bed. The damn kids never thought to share sheets until the others came in the mail. I was laughing so hard because these kids are supposed to be some of the smartest in America... and they didn't think to share... *facepalm*
* * * * *
Yesterday was my first day off in about two weeks. I wanted it to be gloriously productive, filled with finishing my homework for my online class, thrifting, relaxing, and trivia. I was able to get most of those things done, aside from the most important thing, finishing my homework. Instead of working on my homework, I slept most of the day away to avoid the distractions of bad things happening at home. Things are okay now, but not as great as they should be, making it hard for me to be here physically and mentally. I'm sure it will pass, but it's tough right now*.
I've been kind of stuck in a fog for the last week or so and it doesn't seem to be clearing up anytime soon. Being away this summer is the hardest its ever been for me and I haven't been able to clearly articulate my feelings to anyone. To all my friends who I've been short with/haven't had time for, I'm sorry. I'm trying to be as present here as I can be and I honestly haven't had any energy or motivation to speak to anyone since getting here. It's probably just a side effect of my depression/bpdii/whatever else is wrong with my brain, but know that I still love you all, even if I haven't been a great friend lately. Just know, I'm working on it...
Until then, I'll take the little bits of goofiness that happen throughout the day to get me to tomorrow.
*One of the toughest things for me about being away from home is that things always seem to go wrong and I'm unable to be around the people who I need most. Don't get me wrong, I have a lovely support system here, but they aren't the ones I need. They aren't you.
One of my favorite things about my job is that there is never a dull moment. Every day is wildly different than the previous and it is rarely predictable.
The other night there were a ton of students floating around before they were supposed to due to a schedule mix-up. It was resolved, but not before two of them began having sax battles on the balcony. I began angrily ranting in the office and halfway through the rant, all you could hear in the background was the sound of 'Careless Whisper' being played on the saxophone. It was one of those moments that was too funny not to laugh about, despite the anger I was feeling.
These kids do some of the strangest things, but I love them dearly. When I'm having a rough day, the TIPsters always know how to cheer me up, without trying. For example, the other day one of them told me they had been sleeping with a damp shower towel that barely covered their feet while their roommate (a close friend of theirs) had been sleeping with two sheets on the bed. The damn kids never thought to share sheets until the others came in the mail. I was laughing so hard because these kids are supposed to be some of the smartest in America... and they didn't think to share... *facepalm*
* * * * *
Yesterday was my first day off in about two weeks. I wanted it to be gloriously productive, filled with finishing my homework for my online class, thrifting, relaxing, and trivia. I was able to get most of those things done, aside from the most important thing, finishing my homework. Instead of working on my homework, I slept most of the day away to avoid the distractions of bad things happening at home. Things are okay now, but not as great as they should be, making it hard for me to be here physically and mentally. I'm sure it will pass, but it's tough right now*.
I've been kind of stuck in a fog for the last week or so and it doesn't seem to be clearing up anytime soon. Being away this summer is the hardest its ever been for me and I haven't been able to clearly articulate my feelings to anyone. To all my friends who I've been short with/haven't had time for, I'm sorry. I'm trying to be as present here as I can be and I honestly haven't had any energy or motivation to speak to anyone since getting here. It's probably just a side effect of my depression/bpdii/whatever else is wrong with my brain, but know that I still love you all, even if I haven't been a great friend lately. Just know, I'm working on it...
Until then, I'll take the little bits of goofiness that happen throughout the day to get me to tomorrow.
*One of the toughest things for me about being away from home is that things always seem to go wrong and I'm unable to be around the people who I need most. Don't get me wrong, I have a lovely support system here, but they aren't the ones I need. They aren't you.
Monday, June 13, 2016
"You Don't Act Like an Introvert..."
Yesterday, the TIPsters arrived and all of the bullshit the site was dealing with up to that point no longer mattered. The chaos that had ensued throughout training was almost worth it because the TIPsters were finally here safely and that's what was important.
My day kicked off at 5:30AM with a freezing cold shower to wake me up followed by a trip to the office where I was greeted by a Red Bull from our Operations Coordinator. I decided to try to make myself look slightly presentable by putting on some makeup since parents would be dropping off their kids to mostly strangers who look like slightly more grown up kids.
Arrival Day went rather smoothly in regards to logistics. All of the TIPsters arrived before 6:30PM and were all able to attend the student orientation session (which is a first for UGA since I've been working here...). It was a small victory so I'll take it.
Aside from being down two RCs for most of the day, the ResLife side of things ran rather smoothly. We had hired a new RC, who arrived in the early afternoon, and as soon as she was cleared to interact with the TIPsters, jumped right in to help out with parent arrivals. I was incredibly impressed by how quickly she became comfortable in her role, despite being thrown into a position she knew nothing about the same day the students arrived on site. It was also great to see the ResStaff take her in as if she had been with us all along.
As the day progressed, I became more and more exhausted from all of the social interactions. Every time I tried to escape to the office for a few minutes to recollect myself, another parent had a "pressing" issue that needed to be resolved. Obviously I responded to everything with a smile on my face, but I could feel myself getting sassier and sassier as the day went on.
Around 2pm, we had an orientation for the parents to ease them into leaving their kids with us for three weeks. I had a ton of energy and made sure the parents felt great about having their kids stay with us at UGA. After our spiel was complete, a few parents came up to us and thanked us for all the information and that they felt better about dropping off their TIPsters. We even had some parents side with us about the importance of limited cell phone hours and no WiFi access in order to keep the TIPsters engaged with one another and gain the full TIP experience.
As we were leaving, our On-Site Director mentioned to me that I don't seem or act like an introvert. I explained the common misconception that introverts are always reserved. In reality, being introverted just means that at the end of the day, I need to recharge alone instead of around others like extroverts. I told him that at TIP I am much more outgoing than I am in my real life, mostly because the kids respond well to that type of personality, but it is incredibly exhausting for me to be so "on" so often.
By the time I met with all of the TIPsters, I had just enough time to have scarfed down a small plate of Chinese food before sprinting over to the student orientation session. During this, our On-Site Director and I worked really well with one another and made sure the TIPsters really understood the rules our site had in place.
After a wonderful introduction of the entire staff and a killer rules video made by the ResStaff, we dismissed the TIPsters except the 4th years. These students are the oldest on the site and receive orange lanyards instead of green to show their seniority. The conversation was meant to remind them all that the younger TIPsters would be looking up to them and that bullying/hazing of anyone would NOT be tolerated. (Apparently my voice was stern enough during both meetings that the students seemed to be intimidated and scared. I had to let some of the 4th years know that I still love them, but I wasn't tolerating their bullshit this summer. Hopefully they understand...)
Once the meetings were over and the TIPsters were all back in Myers, I made my rounds, reintroduced myself, and asked all the kids to make sure they say "hi" and tell me their names whenever they see me. (I'm making an effort to get to know all of the TIPsters and it will be way less difficult if I get their names down early on.)
Around 9PM, I hit a wall, hard. I was so mentally and physically exhausted from socializing all day that I was struggling to get up and talk to people. Unfortunately, the next two hours involved getting up and socializing. I powered through and when I finally spoke with my staff at the end of my day, they all sent me to bed because they could see how drained the day had made me.
I thanked all of them for their hard work and explained that my introvert was showing, forcing me to bid them adieu for the evening earlier than I would've liked.
I'm hoping the next few days are less chaotic so I can relax, but I won't hold my breath. TIP is exhausting and I love (mostly) every second of it. I'm excited to see what the rest of the summer holds for our site and look forward to sharing (what I can) with you all.
 |
| Sporting all the Duke Blue for Arrival Day |
Arrival Day went rather smoothly in regards to logistics. All of the TIPsters arrived before 6:30PM and were all able to attend the student orientation session (which is a first for UGA since I've been working here...). It was a small victory so I'll take it.
Aside from being down two RCs for most of the day, the ResLife side of things ran rather smoothly. We had hired a new RC, who arrived in the early afternoon, and as soon as she was cleared to interact with the TIPsters, jumped right in to help out with parent arrivals. I was incredibly impressed by how quickly she became comfortable in her role, despite being thrown into a position she knew nothing about the same day the students arrived on site. It was also great to see the ResStaff take her in as if she had been with us all along.
 |
| ResStaff is the best staff |
Around 2pm, we had an orientation for the parents to ease them into leaving their kids with us for three weeks. I had a ton of energy and made sure the parents felt great about having their kids stay with us at UGA. After our spiel was complete, a few parents came up to us and thanked us for all the information and that they felt better about dropping off their TIPsters. We even had some parents side with us about the importance of limited cell phone hours and no WiFi access in order to keep the TIPsters engaged with one another and gain the full TIP experience.
As we were leaving, our On-Site Director mentioned to me that I don't seem or act like an introvert. I explained the common misconception that introverts are always reserved. In reality, being introverted just means that at the end of the day, I need to recharge alone instead of around others like extroverts. I told him that at TIP I am much more outgoing than I am in my real life, mostly because the kids respond well to that type of personality, but it is incredibly exhausting for me to be so "on" so often.
By the time I met with all of the TIPsters, I had just enough time to have scarfed down a small plate of Chinese food before sprinting over to the student orientation session. During this, our On-Site Director and I worked really well with one another and made sure the TIPsters really understood the rules our site had in place.
After a wonderful introduction of the entire staff and a killer rules video made by the ResStaff, we dismissed the TIPsters except the 4th years. These students are the oldest on the site and receive orange lanyards instead of green to show their seniority. The conversation was meant to remind them all that the younger TIPsters would be looking up to them and that bullying/hazing of anyone would NOT be tolerated. (Apparently my voice was stern enough during both meetings that the students seemed to be intimidated and scared. I had to let some of the 4th years know that I still love them, but I wasn't tolerating their bullshit this summer. Hopefully they understand...)
Once the meetings were over and the TIPsters were all back in Myers, I made my rounds, reintroduced myself, and asked all the kids to make sure they say "hi" and tell me their names whenever they see me. (I'm making an effort to get to know all of the TIPsters and it will be way less difficult if I get their names down early on.)
Around 9PM, I hit a wall, hard. I was so mentally and physically exhausted from socializing all day that I was struggling to get up and talk to people. Unfortunately, the next two hours involved getting up and socializing. I powered through and when I finally spoke with my staff at the end of my day, they all sent me to bed because they could see how drained the day had made me.
I thanked all of them for their hard work and explained that my introvert was showing, forcing me to bid them adieu for the evening earlier than I would've liked.
I'm hoping the next few days are less chaotic so I can relax, but I won't hold my breath. TIP is exhausting and I love (mostly) every second of it. I'm excited to see what the rest of the summer holds for our site and look forward to sharing (what I can) with you all.
 |
| PS: I'm missing you a whole hell of a lot while I'm here, in case you didn't know |
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Bad Things Come in Threes
Or fours... or fives... or sixes...
I always believed that bad things came in threes... this week is proving otherwise.
The last few days have been rough to say the least. Between family issues, ER visits, and on-site problems, I've been running myself into the ground. I've been trying to balance everything that was happening in my personal life and just when I thought things were under control, an RC quit before even arriving to campus. I thought that was the last bad thing. Finally, the three bad things had happened and I didn't have to worry about when it was coming... or so I thought...
Unfortunately, that was just the beginning of a snowball effect at UGA. Luckily, my other admin members are just as frustrated as I am and are a great support as we deal with the uphill battle that is TIP @ UGA.
I'm assuming that things will get better. Maybe we've hit rock bottom with the issues and things will only go up from here...
... And maybe that's all just wishful thinking ...
Fingers crossed things will get better, but I won't be holding my breath.
I always believed that bad things came in threes... this week is proving otherwise.
The last few days have been rough to say the least. Between family issues, ER visits, and on-site problems, I've been running myself into the ground. I've been trying to balance everything that was happening in my personal life and just when I thought things were under control, an RC quit before even arriving to campus. I thought that was the last bad thing. Finally, the three bad things had happened and I didn't have to worry about when it was coming... or so I thought...
Unfortunately, that was just the beginning of a snowball effect at UGA. Luckily, my other admin members are just as frustrated as I am and are a great support as we deal with the uphill battle that is TIP @ UGA.
I'm assuming that things will get better. Maybe we've hit rock bottom with the issues and things will only go up from here...
... And maybe that's all just wishful thinking ...
Fingers crossed things will get better, but I won't be holding my breath.
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
When It Rains, It Pours
And for once I do not mean this figuratively...
All day as I was driving to Athens, I was stuck in sporadic torrential downpours. The weather would go from being absolutely gorgeous and sunny to thunderstorms with low visibility. All this would've been fine if I weren't planning on camping tonight...
I started my day by visiting Blue Hole Falls in Elizabethton, TN and was sadly disappointed. I was under the impression that the falls were going to be more impressive, but instead they were just 'eh'. After the mild disappointment, I headed to North Carolina to check out the Sierra Nevada Brewery.
Since I was on a time crunch to get to my camping site, I decided to skip the tour and head straight to the Taproom for a few flights. The beers were great, totally making up for the bummer of a waterfall from earlier. As I sat there drinking my flights alone, I decided to take some pictures. A man seated next to me took notice and told me I should visit the New Belgium Brewery as well as Wicked Weed. I thanked him for the recommendation and headed out after finishing my beers.
I decided against going to the other two breweries in hopes to make it to the campsite in South Carolina with time to spare so I could actually relax before setting up camp. (Seeing as how the rain ruined my plans, though, there would've been no harm in going...) As I headed to South Carolina, the weather began to change. The sunny skies I was basking in earlier in the day were slowly being filled with black, ominous clouds. I knew this wouldn't be good, but decided to head to Caesar's Head State Park for lunch any way.
I arrived at Caesar's Head around 2pm and made a sandwich. (Past Allee was so smart for buying lunch meat, bread, and mustard to put in a cooler.) The lookout was gorgeous, even despite the roaring thunder and mist slowly creeping in. I spent about a half hour or so there before the skies opened up and started to drench me. I checked my GPS to see how far the campsite was and decided to try to go there since it was 30 miles away.
As I continued my journey towards the campsite, the weather got progressively worse and then better and then worse again. Since I didn't have a tarp or anything for my tent (stupid me, I know), I decided to just drive to Athens.
Now I am finally here and the rain has followed me. I can hear it beating against my hotel window which is making me not want to leave again... Luckily I have mostly everything I need here with me so I can hopefully wait out the storm.
Tomorrow I trek to the University of Georgia, a whopping 2 miles away from my hotel, to move into my tiny room for the summer. I will definitely be enjoying my last night in a King-sized bed tonight.
All day as I was driving to Athens, I was stuck in sporadic torrential downpours. The weather would go from being absolutely gorgeous and sunny to thunderstorms with low visibility. All this would've been fine if I weren't planning on camping tonight...
I started my day by visiting Blue Hole Falls in Elizabethton, TN and was sadly disappointed. I was under the impression that the falls were going to be more impressive, but instead they were just 'eh'. After the mild disappointment, I headed to North Carolina to check out the Sierra Nevada Brewery.
Since I was on a time crunch to get to my camping site, I decided to skip the tour and head straight to the Taproom for a few flights. The beers were great, totally making up for the bummer of a waterfall from earlier. As I sat there drinking my flights alone, I decided to take some pictures. A man seated next to me took notice and told me I should visit the New Belgium Brewery as well as Wicked Weed. I thanked him for the recommendation and headed out after finishing my beers.  |
| Flight #1 |
I decided against going to the other two breweries in hopes to make it to the campsite in South Carolina with time to spare so I could actually relax before setting up camp. (Seeing as how the rain ruined my plans, though, there would've been no harm in going...) As I headed to South Carolina, the weather began to change. The sunny skies I was basking in earlier in the day were slowly being filled with black, ominous clouds. I knew this wouldn't be good, but decided to head to Caesar's Head State Park for lunch any way.
I arrived at Caesar's Head around 2pm and made a sandwich. (Past Allee was so smart for buying lunch meat, bread, and mustard to put in a cooler.) The lookout was gorgeous, even despite the roaring thunder and mist slowly creeping in. I spent about a half hour or so there before the skies opened up and started to drench me. I checked my GPS to see how far the campsite was and decided to try to go there since it was 30 miles away.
As I continued my journey towards the campsite, the weather got progressively worse and then better and then worse again. Since I didn't have a tarp or anything for my tent (stupid me, I know), I decided to just drive to Athens.
 |
| Caesar's Head |
Now I am finally here and the rain has followed me. I can hear it beating against my hotel window which is making me not want to leave again... Luckily I have mostly everything I need here with me so I can hopefully wait out the storm.
Tomorrow I trek to the University of Georgia, a whopping 2 miles away from my hotel, to move into my tiny room for the summer. I will definitely be enjoying my last night in a King-sized bed tonight.
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
What Nobody Tells You About Road Trips
Hey there readers. Long time no see. Look, I know it's been a while, but I've been reaaaaaaally busy with life things, but the important thing is that I'm baaaaaack (for now).
As many of you may know, I have spent the last two summers working for Duke University's Talent Identification Program at the University of Georgia and am lucky enough to be spending a third summer there. This year is a bit different, though because I ACTUALLY GET TO BRING MY CAR TO CAMPUS! It may not seem like much, but to me it is very exciting. That being said, today I began embarking on a solo road trip to the glorious city that is Athens, Georgia.
Originally I had planned to leave between 7 and 9am, but things came up and I decided to spend more time with someone I really care a lot about. Instead, I headed out around 10:45am, which worked in my favor because I didn't hit any traffic.
I spent most of my day in the car and around 9pm, I made it to a pretty suite hotel (see what I did there?) in Elizabethton, Tennessee. "But you're going to Athens, isn't Tennessee a bit out of the way?" Well, yes, it is, BUT there's a super cool thing I wanted to see here before I continued my road trip. (It's Blue Hole Falls and there will be pictures posted at a later time since I have yet to get there.)
Anyway, since I spent most of my day in the car, I was able to do a lot of thinking and reflecting. Do you know how much it sucks to be alone in your car for 12 hours? Your only option is to think and reflect. (And to think I get to do it all again tomorrow. Yay me!) As I was driving, I learned a few things as well:
1) Virginia is a bitch to drive through. (It goes on forever and the tractor trailer drivers are awful.)
2) Tractor trailer drivers are awful. (I was almost ran off the road twice by one who was not paying attention. Lucky for me, I was.)
3) People in Virginia LOVE Romney. (There were Romney signs on every house/barn in the damn state...)
4) Driving for extended periods of time on the highway is incredibly exhausting. (No matter how loud your music is, you're still going to be sleepy.)
5)... But you get a second wind! (Just as I was about to give up and find a hotel, I was suddenly energized again and was able to drive another 3 hours.)
6) America is beautiful. (The song was right. You just have to open your eyes once in a while to see it.)
7) Road trips are infinitely more boring when you're alone. (Although you do get to pick the music, when to stop, and what to eat...)
and last, but not least:
8) I'm homesick for a person. I want nothing more than to be curled up in bed next to them, but instead I'm alone in a hotel room listening to the person next door snoring very loudly while a strange black cat meows at me through my door.
Now that I've successfully bitched about my road trip, it's important to note that tomorrow will be infinitely better than today. I have more stops planned and will be one day closer to starting at TIP.
Thanks for listening to me bitch.
As many of you may know, I have spent the last two summers working for Duke University's Talent Identification Program at the University of Georgia and am lucky enough to be spending a third summer there. This year is a bit different, though because I ACTUALLY GET TO BRING MY CAR TO CAMPUS! It may not seem like much, but to me it is very exciting. That being said, today I began embarking on a solo road trip to the glorious city that is Athens, Georgia.
Originally I had planned to leave between 7 and 9am, but things came up and I decided to spend more time with someone I really care a lot about. Instead, I headed out around 10:45am, which worked in my favor because I didn't hit any traffic.
I spent most of my day in the car and around 9pm, I made it to a pretty suite hotel (see what I did there?) in Elizabethton, Tennessee. "But you're going to Athens, isn't Tennessee a bit out of the way?" Well, yes, it is, BUT there's a super cool thing I wanted to see here before I continued my road trip. (It's Blue Hole Falls and there will be pictures posted at a later time since I have yet to get there.)
Anyway, since I spent most of my day in the car, I was able to do a lot of thinking and reflecting. Do you know how much it sucks to be alone in your car for 12 hours? Your only option is to think and reflect. (And to think I get to do it all again tomorrow. Yay me!) As I was driving, I learned a few things as well:
1) Virginia is a bitch to drive through. (It goes on forever and the tractor trailer drivers are awful.)
2) Tractor trailer drivers are awful. (I was almost ran off the road twice by one who was not paying attention. Lucky for me, I was.)
3) People in Virginia LOVE Romney. (There were Romney signs on every house/barn in the damn state...)
4) Driving for extended periods of time on the highway is incredibly exhausting. (No matter how loud your music is, you're still going to be sleepy.)
5)... But you get a second wind! (Just as I was about to give up and find a hotel, I was suddenly energized again and was able to drive another 3 hours.)
6) America is beautiful. (The song was right. You just have to open your eyes once in a while to see it.)
7) Road trips are infinitely more boring when you're alone. (Although you do get to pick the music, when to stop, and what to eat...)
and last, but not least:
8) I'm homesick for a person. I want nothing more than to be curled up in bed next to them, but instead I'm alone in a hotel room listening to the person next door snoring very loudly while a strange black cat meows at me through my door.
Now that I've successfully bitched about my road trip, it's important to note that tomorrow will be infinitely better than today. I have more stops planned and will be one day closer to starting at TIP.
Thanks for listening to me bitch.
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Queen of Second Chances
I am the Queen of Second Chances (and third, fourth, fifth, and so on...). I always look for the best in people and try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but usually it comes back to bite me in the ass.
My parents always taught me that people are generally good and mistakes shouldn't define them. Unfortunately, I've got it in my head that no matter how many mistakes someone makes, they should be given another chance.
I've noticed I have a few types of people that I let get close to me in life. I'm always looking to mend the broken in one way or another. I always think that I can fix them, even if they treat me poorly. A friend recently pointed out to me that almost all of my choices in people over the course of my adult life have been awful. (Friends mostly excluded from this. I am referring to people I have taken a romantic interest in.) Try as I might, for some reason I attract the worst kinds of people. The users, abusers, the assholes, the flakes, the people who know I am too nice to ever walk away.
This is a blessing and a curse, really. As I mentioned before, I tend to look for the good in people. When it comes to work, it's an ideal situation for the students. They tell me some sob story and I usually believe them. We talk through ways to make sure it doesn't happen again, they're given a creative sanction (i.e. some sort of reflection paper), and they are well on their way. When it comes to my personal life, however, it's awful. I have a really hard time cutting ties with people because I grow so attached, even to friends. I feel things so deeply and strongly that when someone opens up to me, I feel as though I am handling it too. It's too hard for me to just let go of something I've become emotionally invested in and that kills me. I'd give anything to be able to just walk away from something the way that people can just walk away from me. (Okay, maybe I wouldn't want to do that all the time, but having the ability to choose to do so would be much better than what I deal with now.) But I can't, so I just have to learn to live this way and hope that one day the people who were awful to me will learn from their mistakes and treat others in their life better.
I guess at the end of the day, as much as I hate how much I feel, I'd rather feel everything than nothing at all. Otherwise, I'd be just like everyone else.
My parents always taught me that people are generally good and mistakes shouldn't define them. Unfortunately, I've got it in my head that no matter how many mistakes someone makes, they should be given another chance.
I've noticed I have a few types of people that I let get close to me in life. I'm always looking to mend the broken in one way or another. I always think that I can fix them, even if they treat me poorly. A friend recently pointed out to me that almost all of my choices in people over the course of my adult life have been awful. (Friends mostly excluded from this. I am referring to people I have taken a romantic interest in.) Try as I might, for some reason I attract the worst kinds of people. The users, abusers, the assholes, the flakes, the people who know I am too nice to ever walk away.
This is a blessing and a curse, really. As I mentioned before, I tend to look for the good in people. When it comes to work, it's an ideal situation for the students. They tell me some sob story and I usually believe them. We talk through ways to make sure it doesn't happen again, they're given a creative sanction (i.e. some sort of reflection paper), and they are well on their way. When it comes to my personal life, however, it's awful. I have a really hard time cutting ties with people because I grow so attached, even to friends. I feel things so deeply and strongly that when someone opens up to me, I feel as though I am handling it too. It's too hard for me to just let go of something I've become emotionally invested in and that kills me. I'd give anything to be able to just walk away from something the way that people can just walk away from me. (Okay, maybe I wouldn't want to do that all the time, but having the ability to choose to do so would be much better than what I deal with now.) But I can't, so I just have to learn to live this way and hope that one day the people who were awful to me will learn from their mistakes and treat others in their life better.
I guess at the end of the day, as much as I hate how much I feel, I'd rather feel everything than nothing at all. Otherwise, I'd be just like everyone else.
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Portlandia
For the last four days, I've been spending my time across the country in Portland, Oregon. My best friend for 12 years invited me to visit her so I jumped at the opportunity to GTFO of Philly for a few days. This is the first time I've been out west and I have loved every second of it. Sadly it has rained every day, except for today, but the rain is definitely manageable here.
Let's recap how the last few days have gone...
Saturday: I arrived in Portland around 7:30pm and was ready to party. Kimberly picked me up from the airport and we headed to her apartment. After a quick makeover and a change of clothes, we headed to one of the country bars in Milwaukie. The bar was fairly dead, but one of her friends was playing in the band so we hung out there for an hour or so. People out west have a very particular image of what country is, but it seems to me there is a disconnect between their idea and the reality. After a while, we decided that this bar was not the place for us to stay, mostly because of some weird sugar daddy situations we watched unfold.
Around 11, we headed to McQuillans, a local dive bar that had karaoke. As soon as we sat down, we ran into one of Kimberly's friends, who seemed to know almost everyone in the bar. The seat I grabbed was next to a cute guy who Kimberly swears looks like Edward Cullen. (Fitting of course because the scenery looks damn near identical to the Twilight movies.) Any way, it wasn't long before I got a free drink and I was sweet talking the locals about hockey and soccer. Since it was karaoke night, I decided to rock out to What's My Age Again with the cute guy I was sitting next to. Before I knew it, I was pretty drunk and was dancing with everyone. It was awesome.
Saturday into Sunday marked the end of Daylight Savings Time, which was incredibly disorienting for me coming from the East Coast, three hours ahead of the Pacific North West. After bar hopping again, we wound up at a house party. When all was said and done, I crashed on Kimberly's couch around 6AM. As exhausted as I was, I think I was more drunk so it didn't bother me in the slightest.
Sunday: After sleeping in until about noon, we headed to Tyron Creek Park to take some pictures. It rained the entire time, but the view was gorgeous. Everything is so green in Oregon... something you don't see very often in Philly.
Later in the evening, we headed to a dispensary. In Oregon, medicinal and recreational use of marijuana is legal, if you are over 21. Coming from a state where weed is illegal, I wanted to see what it was like to purchase weed. Basically, the dispensary is like a giant vape shop, but instead of juice for your vape, there is a TON of different strains of weed. I couldn't take any pictures of the dispensary, but I was able to take a picture of the container the weed comes in. (Super exciting, I know.) That's about all I will be sharing about this experience, but if you're a close friend, I don't mind sharing more with you privately.
(Side note: for any of my fellow reslifers, I am curious on how you think the legalization of recreational marijuana would impact our role on campus, but that's a conversation for another day...)
Monday: Another rainy day, but we visited Cannon Beach. This beach is where the ending scene of the Goonies was filmed and the town right next to it, Astoria, was where the rest of the movie was filmed. Obviously, I had to take a picture with the rocks in the water before departing. (Just in the nick of time too because it started to torrential downpour not soon after the picture was taken.)
It was weird how normal it felt to be at Cannon Beach. Even though I had never been there before, it felt almost like home. The beach town was so similar to Camps Bay in Cape Town that I had such a feeling of nostalgia the moment we arrived. It was so surreal, but comforting.
After nearly missing the rain, we made it back to Milwaukie to drink some wine and watch movies.
Tuesday: We headed into the city of Portland for the day. Again it was rainy, but I didn't mind it much. We couldn't decide what to do so we settled for a beer tasting at Hair of the Dog brewery. We had to walk across the Morrison Bridge to get there, but the view of the city was wonderful. After our beer tasting, we headed to a dive bar called Embers across town. I was meeting up with the Edward Cullen looking fellow around 5:30 to go out to dinner. (Who knew I'd score a date while traveling?)
Kimberly and I parted ways around 4:30 so I had about an hour to kill before my date. I decided to just stay at the dive bar and continue to drink before meeting up with 'Edward'. It was probably not the best idea, but it wasn't the worst. By the time we met up, I wasn't really hungry, but instead a bit tipsy... maybe even borderline drunk. I was no longer nervous so it worked out, but I probably was a giant goofball (more so than usual).
After grabbing a drink at a local hipster bar called Momo's, we headed to Shigaze, a Japanese restaurant, for dinner. Anyone who knows me will be surprised to hear that I tried a few things I've never eaten before including seaweed salad and real ramen, both delicious! Aside from trying out new cuisine, I also was introduced to the usage of chopsticks and sitting on the floor to eat. It was a great experience and I hope to try out a Japanese restaurant in Philly when I get back. (If anyone is interested in tagging along or has recommendations, let me know.)
My night ended at another karaoke bar where I made friends with a young woman named April. She was super awesome and we wound up singing Cee-Lo Green's Fuck You together. It was a blast!
Wednesday: My last day in Portland was beautiful. I was sad that the weather had been kind of awful the whole time, but it paid off for today. We went to Multnomah Falls, Oregon's largest waterfall, and I was able to take some lovely pictures. We also checked out Vista House where you can see Washington from the top. Aside from that adventure, the day has been fairly chill. Kimberly and I are heading to another dive bar tonight so wish me luck in waking up for my 7AM flight tomorrow.
This trip to Portland has been wonderful. I am so thankful that I have such an amazing friend who put up with me on her couch for 5 nights and has taken me all around. I'm looking forward to heading back out this way after I finish my grad program, hopefully to stay.
Let's recap how the last few days have gone...
Saturday: I arrived in Portland around 7:30pm and was ready to party. Kimberly picked me up from the airport and we headed to her apartment. After a quick makeover and a change of clothes, we headed to one of the country bars in Milwaukie. The bar was fairly dead, but one of her friends was playing in the band so we hung out there for an hour or so. People out west have a very particular image of what country is, but it seems to me there is a disconnect between their idea and the reality. After a while, we decided that this bar was not the place for us to stay, mostly because of some weird sugar daddy situations we watched unfold.Around 11, we headed to McQuillans, a local dive bar that had karaoke. As soon as we sat down, we ran into one of Kimberly's friends, who seemed to know almost everyone in the bar. The seat I grabbed was next to a cute guy who Kimberly swears looks like Edward Cullen. (Fitting of course because the scenery looks damn near identical to the Twilight movies.) Any way, it wasn't long before I got a free drink and I was sweet talking the locals about hockey and soccer. Since it was karaoke night, I decided to rock out to What's My Age Again with the cute guy I was sitting next to. Before I knew it, I was pretty drunk and was dancing with everyone. It was awesome.
Saturday into Sunday marked the end of Daylight Savings Time, which was incredibly disorienting for me coming from the East Coast, three hours ahead of the Pacific North West. After bar hopping again, we wound up at a house party. When all was said and done, I crashed on Kimberly's couch around 6AM. As exhausted as I was, I think I was more drunk so it didn't bother me in the slightest.
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| Tyron Creek Park |
Later in the evening, we headed to a dispensary. In Oregon, medicinal and recreational use of marijuana is legal, if you are over 21. Coming from a state where weed is illegal, I wanted to see what it was like to purchase weed. Basically, the dispensary is like a giant vape shop, but instead of juice for your vape, there is a TON of different strains of weed. I couldn't take any pictures of the dispensary, but I was able to take a picture of the container the weed comes in. (Super exciting, I know.) That's about all I will be sharing about this experience, but if you're a close friend, I don't mind sharing more with you privately.
(Side note: for any of my fellow reslifers, I am curious on how you think the legalization of recreational marijuana would impact our role on campus, but that's a conversation for another day...)
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| Cannon Beach |
It was weird how normal it felt to be at Cannon Beach. Even though I had never been there before, it felt almost like home. The beach town was so similar to Camps Bay in Cape Town that I had such a feeling of nostalgia the moment we arrived. It was so surreal, but comforting.
After nearly missing the rain, we made it back to Milwaukie to drink some wine and watch movies.
Tuesday: We headed into the city of Portland for the day. Again it was rainy, but I didn't mind it much. We couldn't decide what to do so we settled for a beer tasting at Hair of the Dog brewery. We had to walk across the Morrison Bridge to get there, but the view of the city was wonderful. After our beer tasting, we headed to a dive bar called Embers across town. I was meeting up with the Edward Cullen looking fellow around 5:30 to go out to dinner. (Who knew I'd score a date while traveling?) Kimberly and I parted ways around 4:30 so I had about an hour to kill before my date. I decided to just stay at the dive bar and continue to drink before meeting up with 'Edward'. It was probably not the best idea, but it wasn't the worst. By the time we met up, I wasn't really hungry, but instead a bit tipsy... maybe even borderline drunk. I was no longer nervous so it worked out, but I probably was a giant goofball (more so than usual).
After grabbing a drink at a local hipster bar called Momo's, we headed to Shigaze, a Japanese restaurant, for dinner. Anyone who knows me will be surprised to hear that I tried a few things I've never eaten before including seaweed salad and real ramen, both delicious! Aside from trying out new cuisine, I also was introduced to the usage of chopsticks and sitting on the floor to eat. It was a great experience and I hope to try out a Japanese restaurant in Philly when I get back. (If anyone is interested in tagging along or has recommendations, let me know.)
My night ended at another karaoke bar where I made friends with a young woman named April. She was super awesome and we wound up singing Cee-Lo Green's Fuck You together. It was a blast!
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| Multnomah Falls |
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| Enjoying the view |
This trip to Portland has been wonderful. I am so thankful that I have such an amazing friend who put up with me on her couch for 5 nights and has taken me all around. I'm looking forward to heading back out this way after I finish my grad program, hopefully to stay.
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind
I've been thinking a lot lately about how much easier things would be if I could lose some of my memories, mainly those consisting of the wolf. I find myself remembering the good times together, which is incredibly frustrating. If only life were like Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. I could go and have all memories of the wolf removed and it would be as if it never happened. I could sleep at night without remembering his touch, his sweet voice, and the wonderful lies he told me. But it's not and I'm stuck with the memories, as much as I wish I could forget. The worst part is that as badly as I want to hate him, I don't. I can't. I find myself becoming more and more frustrated with myself because I was the one who believed that things would be different and that everything was going to be okay. I was the one who fell, hard, and let myself tell him things I never wanted to share with anyone else. He made everything so easy and I loved it, until now. I know one day things will get easier, but until then I'll continue to wrack my brain for all the reasons why I wasn't good enough.
Sunday, February 14, 2016
A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
What is love but a four letter lie I so desperately wanted to believe? You really had me going too. It was almost as if you wanted me to become so naked, so vulnerable in an effort to tear me apart. You let me tell you things I've never wanted to tell anyone else, but you made it so easy. So easy to fall in love with you. And where did that get me? Here. Alone. In my bed. On Valentine's Day. Stuck with the words swimming in my head I've been dying to say to you, but haven't had the chance. You see, I really thought things were going to be different this time, but you proved me wrong, just as everyone has done before you. I want to thank you for disguising yourself, for making me believe you were in my corner, because without that, I would've never realized that I should guard my heart. I let my walls down, but thanks to you that won't be happening again. Thanks for the memories, my dear. I'm done.
Sunday, January 31, 2016
S.O.B.
After a ten day hiatus, I've decided to blog again. I've been thinking a lot about what I've talked about in my blog. It's been brought to my attention that some people may not appreciate what I've had to say so to avoid any (further) issues arising, I will no longer be talking about my work life at all anymore. Instead, I'll just blog about whatever (non work related) the hell comes to my mind
I could blog about today, for example. I went to the Radio 104.5 Winter Jam at XFINITY Live! and had an amazing time. Here's a few things I learned from this experience:
1) You most likely will get a contact high at any concert event in Philly
2) Drunk people are assholes, even more so when you aren't drunk at all
3) People are rude and will push you out of the way to get where they want to go when you're in a pit
4) Day drinking is a blast, but you have to keep it up or else you start to get really sleepy
5) Drunk people love crowd surfing and taking videos on snapchat as they are falling into the crowd
6) It's harder than it looks to climb onto a giant lounger
7) Elle King is hilarious and is a drunken asshole like everyone else (but the good kind)
8) Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats are some talented S.O.B.s
9) Andrew Mcmahon loves crowd surfing almost as much as drunk Philadelphians (see below)
10) Philly knows how to throw a fucking a concert
That's all I've got for today, but I'm sure I'll be blogging about some more random shit sooner or later.
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| Bonding with my bestie |
1) You most likely will get a contact high at any concert event in Philly
2) Drunk people are assholes, even more so when you aren't drunk at all
3) People are rude and will push you out of the way to get where they want to go when you're in a pit
4) Day drinking is a blast, but you have to keep it up or else you start to get really sleepy
5) Drunk people love crowd surfing and taking videos on snapchat as they are falling into the crowd
6) It's harder than it looks to climb onto a giant lounger
7) Elle King is hilarious and is a drunken asshole like everyone else (but the good kind)
8) Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats are some talented S.O.B.s
9) Andrew Mcmahon loves crowd surfing almost as much as drunk Philadelphians (see below)
10) Philly knows how to throw a fucking a concert
That's all I've got for today, but I'm sure I'll be blogging about some more random shit sooner or later.
Sunday, January 17, 2016
Happy as a Clam
Today, my laptop decided it didn't want to turn on. Then once it turned on, it decided to freeze every time I tried to do something. Now it is working for the next few minutes so I've decided to blog while I have the chance.
This weekend has been wonderful, aside from the slow and painful death my laptop is currently facing. On Friday, I spent time with some of my favorite people at Mad River. (Yes, I am aware that Mad River is trashy, but I love dancing so I will continue to go there until I find another close bar to dance at on my off weekends.) After a fantastic night out and some heart to hearts, I woke up the next day as if I hadn't gone out the night before. I woke up to a wonderful human being cuddled up next to me in my bed and I took some time to reflect on how lucky I am.
The last few months have been tough. I've been beaten down by life more times than I could count, but each time I've stood back up (sometimes limping) and continued pushing on. Despite the awful luck I've continued to have, surprisingly the universe has surrounded me with some amazing people and good opportunities. I know I've blogged about this before, but I just wanted to say "thank you" to the wonderfully amazing people who continue to keep me around, even when I am miserable. You all know who you are and I can't thank you enough for being my support system. I love you all dearly.
Recently, one particular person has made me happier than I've been in a while, which is what prompted my reflection on my luck. For some reason, this amazing guy waltzed (typed?) his way into my life and hasn't run away screaming (yet). I'm so lucky to have such a lovely gentleman in my life who has a miraculous way of calming the storm that is always in my head. Thank you for being so damn wonderful, Steve. You have no idea how much it means to me. Also, thanks for prompting my internal (and slightly external) reflection on life. Despite the hurdles I keep getting tossed, I'm still smiling and it's because of you.
<3
This weekend has been wonderful, aside from the slow and painful death my laptop is currently facing. On Friday, I spent time with some of my favorite people at Mad River. (Yes, I am aware that Mad River is trashy, but I love dancing so I will continue to go there until I find another close bar to dance at on my off weekends.) After a fantastic night out and some heart to hearts, I woke up the next day as if I hadn't gone out the night before. I woke up to a wonderful human being cuddled up next to me in my bed and I took some time to reflect on how lucky I am.
The last few months have been tough. I've been beaten down by life more times than I could count, but each time I've stood back up (sometimes limping) and continued pushing on. Despite the awful luck I've continued to have, surprisingly the universe has surrounded me with some amazing people and good opportunities. I know I've blogged about this before, but I just wanted to say "thank you" to the wonderfully amazing people who continue to keep me around, even when I am miserable. You all know who you are and I can't thank you enough for being my support system. I love you all dearly.
Recently, one particular person has made me happier than I've been in a while, which is what prompted my reflection on my luck. For some reason, this amazing guy waltzed (typed?) his way into my life and hasn't run away screaming (yet). I'm so lucky to have such a lovely gentleman in my life who has a miraculous way of calming the storm that is always in my head. Thank you for being so damn wonderful, Steve. You have no idea how much it means to me. Also, thanks for prompting my internal (and slightly external) reflection on life. Despite the hurdles I keep getting tossed, I'm still smiling and it's because of you.
<3
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
True Life: I'm Dating an Alien
Now that I have your attention, I'd like to take a minute to apologize for my lack of posts as of late. Life has been wonderful and busy and I just haven't taken the time to write anything down. I spent my winter break at home for three weeks, sleeping on my parents' couch, spending time with amazing people, going ice skating, seeing Star Wars (three times), and then returned to campus last week. The last few days have been consumed by RA training and students returning to campus. It's been chaotic, but definitely productive.
Aside from the PhilaU chaos, yesterday I started my first ever grad class at Temple University. Before that I had never even set foot on Temple's campus (unless you count the times I went to the Pearl Theater or the Liacouras Center). Despite me being directionally impaired, I made it to the train station in East Falls and then to the building where my class was held, with minor GPS usage. After speaking to a few kind students on campus, I was able to find out where to get my ID and actually took a decent picture. (Thank goodness I was actually prepared, unlike when I took my picture for Arcadia and PhilaU...) After doing all of this, I still had a half hour to kill before class. I made my way to my classroom, sat down, and waited for everyone else to arrive.
Overall, class was a success. It was basically a syllabus day (which I thought ceased to exist after undergrad), but with a few notes. I quickly learned that I will probably be the only person in my classes taking notes the traditional way: with pen and paper. This might change over the course of the semester, but in an effort to avoid pissing off everyone in class with my laptop who likes to sing everyone the song of its people, I'm going to stick with paper for as long as possible.
After class was over, I called a friend to keep me company on the phone until my train came an hour later. (This would usually be the part where I tell you all about how wonderful this person is and that I've been talking to him for a while and that he is such a gentleman and I really enjoy his company and blah blah blah, but he and I have an image to keep up so I will spare you the details (for now...). All you need to know is that he makes me happy and I have these weird things called "feelings" for him. Gross, I know. Oh, and he is an alien. That's another important thing.) My wonderful parents offered to drive about a half hour to the East Falls Station to pick me up and drop me off on campus so I didn't have to walk at night in the cold. I told my mom it was because they missed me, but she insisted that she just wanted to keep me safe. (She just doesn't want to admit that she misses having me around the house...)
Thursday is my next grad class, which is actually going to be challenging because it is an accelerated course. Fingers crossed it goes as well as my class on Monday.
After a long and somewhat stressful few days of RA training filled with printer issues, staff conflicts, and meetings, I get to spend time with my fellow RCs by going to dinner in Manayunk followed by a night of catching up with one of my absolute best friends who is in town from Portland. To say I am excited for this evening is an understatement.
Here's to a wonderful evening and productive week!
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| Not so awful ID picture |
Aside from the PhilaU chaos, yesterday I started my first ever grad class at Temple University. Before that I had never even set foot on Temple's campus (unless you count the times I went to the Pearl Theater or the Liacouras Center). Despite me being directionally impaired, I made it to the train station in East Falls and then to the building where my class was held, with minor GPS usage. After speaking to a few kind students on campus, I was able to find out where to get my ID and actually took a decent picture. (Thank goodness I was actually prepared, unlike when I took my picture for Arcadia and PhilaU...) After doing all of this, I still had a half hour to kill before class. I made my way to my classroom, sat down, and waited for everyone else to arrive.
 |
| Grad school notebook |
Overall, class was a success. It was basically a syllabus day (which I thought ceased to exist after undergrad), but with a few notes. I quickly learned that I will probably be the only person in my classes taking notes the traditional way: with pen and paper. This might change over the course of the semester, but in an effort to avoid pissing off everyone in class with my laptop who likes to sing everyone the song of its people, I'm going to stick with paper for as long as possible.
After class was over, I called a friend to keep me company on the phone until my train came an hour later. (This would usually be the part where I tell you all about how wonderful this person is and that I've been talking to him for a while and that he is such a gentleman and I really enjoy his company and blah blah blah, but he and I have an image to keep up so I will spare you the details (for now...). All you need to know is that he makes me happy and I have these weird things called "feelings" for him. Gross, I know. Oh, and he is an alien. That's another important thing.) My wonderful parents offered to drive about a half hour to the East Falls Station to pick me up and drop me off on campus so I didn't have to walk at night in the cold. I told my mom it was because they missed me, but she insisted that she just wanted to keep me safe. (She just doesn't want to admit that she misses having me around the house...)
Thursday is my next grad class, which is actually going to be challenging because it is an accelerated course. Fingers crossed it goes as well as my class on Monday.
After a long and somewhat stressful few days of RA training filled with printer issues, staff conflicts, and meetings, I get to spend time with my fellow RCs by going to dinner in Manayunk followed by a night of catching up with one of my absolute best friends who is in town from Portland. To say I am excited for this evening is an understatement.
Here's to a wonderful evening and productive week!
Friday, January 1, 2016
Hangovers: The Only Way to Kick Off a New Year
2015 was one hell of a year and I definitely ended on a high note. (However, it did result in me feeling awful for most of the first day of the year.)
Here's a recap of my 2015: I fell in love (twice), strengthened relationships with friends (old and new), held a new position at one of the greatest summer jobs ever, met incredible people, started a new job I absolutely love, was accepted to grad school, was dumped on facebook messenger, realized my self worth, and moved out of my parents' house. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly, I made it through the year I thought was never going to end.
I've been thinking a lot about what I want out of 2016 for myself, but I'm never any good at making resolutions (and sticking to them). This year I've decided that instead of making resolutions, I am just going to focus on being the best person I can be. I'll be starting grad school and working pretty much full-time so I want to make sure I am doing what I need to do for myself (for once). Typically, I am focused on helping everyone around me instead of taking care of myself. While it is important to play nice with others, it is also incredibly important to practice self care. Since I have not had the best track record with that, I am going to work hard at taking time for myself. How can I help lift others up if I am constantly dragging my feet on myself? I have to practice what I preach, right?
This is not going to be easy, but I am determined to at least try. Lucky for me, I have some wonderful people in my life who will definitely hold me accountable for this.
Thanks to everyone who has stuck by me in 2015 and has dealt with my bitching.
Cheers to happy, healthy, and exciting adventures in 2016.
Here's a recap of my 2015: I fell in love (twice), strengthened relationships with friends (old and new), held a new position at one of the greatest summer jobs ever, met incredible people, started a new job I absolutely love, was accepted to grad school, was dumped on facebook messenger, realized my self worth, and moved out of my parents' house. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly, I made it through the year I thought was never going to end.
I've been thinking a lot about what I want out of 2016 for myself, but I'm never any good at making resolutions (and sticking to them). This year I've decided that instead of making resolutions, I am just going to focus on being the best person I can be. I'll be starting grad school and working pretty much full-time so I want to make sure I am doing what I need to do for myself (for once). Typically, I am focused on helping everyone around me instead of taking care of myself. While it is important to play nice with others, it is also incredibly important to practice self care. Since I have not had the best track record with that, I am going to work hard at taking time for myself. How can I help lift others up if I am constantly dragging my feet on myself? I have to practice what I preach, right?
This is not going to be easy, but I am determined to at least try. Lucky for me, I have some wonderful people in my life who will definitely hold me accountable for this.
• • • •
Thanks to everyone who has stuck by me in 2015 and has dealt with my bitching.
Cheers to happy, healthy, and exciting adventures in 2016.
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