Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind
I've been thinking a lot lately about how much easier things would be if I could lose some of my memories, mainly those consisting of the wolf. I find myself remembering the good times together, which is incredibly frustrating. If only life were like Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. I could go and have all memories of the wolf removed and it would be as if it never happened. I could sleep at night without remembering his touch, his sweet voice, and the wonderful lies he told me. But it's not and I'm stuck with the memories, as much as I wish I could forget. The worst part is that as badly as I want to hate him, I don't. I can't. I find myself becoming more and more frustrated with myself because I was the one who believed that things would be different and that everything was going to be okay. I was the one who fell, hard, and let myself tell him things I never wanted to share with anyone else. He made everything so easy and I loved it, until now. I know one day things will get easier, but until then I'll continue to wrack my brain for all the reasons why I wasn't good enough.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Why do you hold yourself responsible for "the wolf's" actions? I assume he is an adult, and can make his own decisions, and those decisions lead you to break it off with him. It sounds like you're well to be rid of him.
ReplyDeleteWhatever happened in the past, its pretty clear that he did not make you happy. You can either embrace the past, because you cannot change it, learn from it so that it wasn't a waste, and try to do better. Based on how you describe this dude you used to be with, doing better shouldn't be that difficult.