The hardest part about living longer than you've anticipated is that you didn't fucking plan for this. You didn't save money or plan for a career, you just did what you needed to do to get to the next day and that was that. I've been so used to living this way that it's fucked me over in so many ways because
I'm still. fucking. here.
Some folx may say "But Allee, it's a GOOD thing you're still alive. You've made it this far. You should be so proud of yourself..." which is true, but that doesn't mean I can wrap my head around this shit.
So here I am, staring 29 in the face... Endlessly trying to convince myself that folx do genuinely care about me ...
... and that I am not a burden ...
... and that checking out early is not an option.
29. Fuck. I never thought I'd make it here. I never thought I'd make it to 18, if we are being honest. This must be a fluke, right?
Somehow I've been able to make a deal with the devil in exchange for immortality (at least until I am proven mortal) so I guess it's about time I get my shit together.
Maybe 29 will be better than 28.
At least, that's what I'm holding out hope for...
