Monday, February 13, 2017

Stupid, Sappy VDay

It's February 13, which means tomorrow is one of my least favorite holidays ever.

Valentine's Day is a big hoax, Hallmark holiday to get people to spend unnecessary amounts of money on the people they love most. As much as I hate on the idea of love, I think it's important to show people you care more than just one day a year. A bouquet of flowers on a Thursday because they reminded you of me means more than a box of chocolate on VDay because society says you have to do it.

I'm sure some of you are reading this thinking "what the hell happened to this girl to make her so cynical about love and Valentine's Day?" but the truth is, I've always felt this way. (It doesn't help that a year ago tomorrow I was ghosted by my then-boyfriend. Who the hell ditches and stops talking to their significant other on Valentine's Day!? Awful people, that's who... but I digress...)

As I said before, I think it's important to show and tell people you care about them more than just on Valentine's Day.

So go out, spend time with the people who mean the most to you tomorrow, but tell them you love and care for them throughout the year as well.

Hope you all have a stupid, sappy VDay!

Saturday, February 11, 2017

The "R" Word

It's been a few months since I've last blogged. I could sit here and make excuses all day, but honestly I just wasn't motivated to blog about anything. The last few months have been challenging and I'll leave it at that for now.

The reason why I'm even blogging today is because of something that happened at a conference I attended with three PhilaU leaders.

A well known speaker and writer, Shinjini Das, was the keynote speaker at the Inclusive Leadership Conference. The theme was inclusivity and finding your voice, but there was definitely a lack of the former.

Her speech was culturally insensitive in more ways than one and she even stated in her speech, "Of course I understand, it's not like I'm retarded."

A speech that started off empowering, getting the crowd excited, suddenly took a turn. The entire room fell silent after hearing that sentence. Immediately, the crowd lost interest in what she was saying.

At the end of her speech, she took questions. The students sitting next to me wanted to speak up and tell Shinjini why that word was not appropriate. I encouraged them to do so, or to speak with her after she got off the stage. Before the students could even make a decision, a voice spoke out from the back of the audience.

The student started off by asking if Shinjini had ever taken a cultural sensitivity course because many of the terminology used was not only outdated, but also highly offensive. They continued on by saying using the word retarded was not acceptable and a keynote speaker at an inclusivity conference should have known better than to use it. Shinjini did not have a response.

After she left the stage, the conference host stated that the use of the word retarded was unacceptable, outdated, and incorrect. They stated that using offensive words was not going to be tolerated in this setting, as we wanted to promote inclusivity.

A few other things happened during this conference that were concerning. During a women's empowerment session, the two presenters were using the words female and woman interchangeably. One of my students used her voice to correct the presenters, informing them that female refers to sex assigned at birth where as woman refers to gender, which is just one of twenty-six genders. The presenters thanked her in the session for correcting them and used the proper terminology for the rest of the session. Needless to say, I was quite proud of my student.

The last issue that occurred in my presence was involving the all gender bathrooms at the conference. At the start of the conference, signs were placed over top of the original signs, indicating they would be all gender bathrooms. Right before lunch, I noticed that the signs had been moved below the originals, defeating the purpose of having an all gender bathroom. (People are more likely to just use the bathroom for how they present themselves when they can see who should be using which. I.e. a woman uses the women's bathroom because she is accustomed to seeing the sign.) Upon noticing this, I immediately informed the conference hosts that it was counterproductive to do this and that in the future, they should educate the conference goers on why all gender bathrooms are important and that they would be used at the conference. The hosts immediately went to fix it and apologized for the issue.

All of these issues today have shown me that we truly do have a long way to go as a profession, as well as a country. Seeing these things firsthand was truly upsetting, but I am so proud of the students who found their voices and were not afraid to speak up.

I challenge you all to speak up next time you see something is wrong, instead of just shrugging it off and assuming someone else will do it. It's not easy, but it will definitely be worth it.