There's chapters I've closed and stored away for years that have been reopened and there's some that never had an ending, in hopes there would be some sort of closure eventually. Recently, a few chapters that were left this way have started to end.
As I was packing up my room yesterday, I received a message from an ex, just asking how I was doing. They had heard about my sobriety through the grapevine and were incredibly happy for me. To be honest, I'd never expected to hear from this person again. I was overcome by emotion, I didn't know what to do. All the memories came rushing back and I collapsed in a heap on the floor, crying as Harry Styles Sign of the Times played through my speakers.
We spoke briefly and I told them I was moving to Olympia in a little over a month. There was a long pause before anything was sent. "Oh wow! For work?" was all that I received. I don't know what I was expecting, but it definitely was not that. I guess they did not know what else to say. Maybe they realized I truly wasn't going to wait around forever and that I was going to live my life my way. I wasn't going to be the person they could always come back to when their life was falling apart anymore.
I've thought about this a lot, analyzing the details of this conversation, thinking about all of the could haves, would haves, should haves in my life, and I've come to this conclusion: you can't dwell on the past. People are placed in our lives for specific reasons. Some to teach us tough lessons, some to carry us through a challenging time, others to stay with us forever, but we can't get hung up on the "what ifs," as easy as it is to do it.
While I'm sad many of my chapters are ending and this book of the first 25 years of my life is closing, I'm excited to start the next book in my series.
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