What No One Tells You About Living Alone

This weekend was my first weekend on duty. I was shadowing another staff member, but it made the most sense for me to hold onto the phone and keys to get accustomed to being on duty. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I assumed that Pope weekend was going to be insane because students were trapped on campus, but the reality was that everyone (including many of my RAs) took advantage of this long weekend by going home. We had a few situations that I had to attend to, but for the most part it was quiet (for now...).

This entire weekend, I pretty much stayed in my apartment. During the day I was technically allowed to leave campus (no more than a fifteen minute radius away from campus), but I decided to just stick around and watch Netflix instead.

Staying inside all weekend had some perks. I was able to watch Netflix, do some yoga, catch up on emails, yadda yadda yadda, however, it did have a downside. I was truly alone with my thoughts.

I spent the weekend alone, aside from my encounters with staff members, and realized how much it sucks. Yes, there are some perks to living alone such as walking around naked or leaving dirty dishes in the sink, but it gets lonely.

I realized that even though I've technically lived alone before, I was never truly on my own. I always had my residents around to keep me company or my best friends right across campus. It was so great to have the ability to be around so many people, but at the end of the day I could close my door and keep to myself. Here that's not the case. Sure I could keep my apartment door open and engage in conversations with the students, but it's not the same.

Here I feel like the person who still hangs around college campuses to feel young and relive my glory days (which weren't too long ago, but still...). I'm at that age where I can relate to the students, but at the same time, we are light years away from one another.

I've come to the conclusion that being alone with yourself all the time sucks, but that's a big part of growing up.  I think this is going to be the year that I focus on becoming my best self and really working hard at that. I'll be (hopefully) starting grad school in January, so that will take up my abundance of free time, and I can spend the rest of my time doing the things I want to do. Maybe I'll start sketching again, who knows? All I know is that it's going to be a long, lonely, sad year if I don't find something productive to do with my some of my spare time.

So here's to a year of becoming my best 'me'.

Besides, if I don't like spending time with myself, who will?

Bonus: I visited my mural that I installed in January.
Check it out at the East Falls Station! =D